Today we’re going to talk about what rattles the enigmatic INFJ personality type. INFJs are referred to by psychologist David Kiersey as “the Counselors”. They are true idealists; always longing to make the world a better place, yet simultaneously feeling haunted by the evils and injustices they see everywhere. INFJs are constantly looking to the future and trying to find ways to bring out human potential. While they may be hard to get to know initially, INFJs can make incredibly loyal friends and insightful listeners.
Disclaimer: I’m an INFJ myself, so hopefully my post doesn’t sound too arrogant (I rarely refer to myself as ‘enigmatic’). These 5 pet peeves are not just my own personal pet peeves, but are the result of my conversations with other INFJs and the help of my handy Myers-Briggs book collection.
Noise and Interruptions
INFJs have an extremely active inner world that they rarely, if ever, show anyone else. They use dominant Introverted Intuition (Ni) to seek out meaning and find patterns that point to a future outcome. Ni-dominant types (INTJs and INFJs) often need considerable quiet time to themselves to think and focus. Interruptions, noise, and excessive sensory stimulation will push an INFJ to the edge of their comfort zone. Along with needing peace and quiet to harness their intuition, INFJs also have inferior Extraverted Sensing (Se) which makes them extremely sensitive to sensory stimulation – noise, bright lights, excessive movement, etc,..
Related: Why INFJs and INTJs Get Overstimulated
Facades and Attention-Seeking Behavior
INFJs detest attention-seeking behaviors and melodrama. Their strong intuition combined with their awareness of emotions makes it easy for them to spot when someone is being fake or is always seeking the spotlight. Emotionally manipulative movies and TV shows also get on their nerves. While INFJs love to listen to people’s problems and help them sort out their emotions, they prize authenticity and honesty. They can’t stand passive-aggression, phoniness, or people who are always trying to find ways to add more drama to life.
INFJs would much rather converse about the weightier matters of life than spend time talking about the weather, celebrity gossip, or the latest fashions. While they know small talk is sometimes a necessary evil, they can’t wait to get to the point where a conversation delves into more meaningful material. INFJs would almost always prefer to talk about the meaning of life, existential fears, hopes, dreams, aspirations and ideas. INFJs also especially like to talk about plans for the future. Because they are one of the most future-focused types, they love to come up with an idea or ‘master plan’ for the future. If you can get them talking about their plan or vision, you will probably see a more talkative side of the INFJ than you’ve ever seen before.
INFJs can’t stand being talked down to, patronized, or condescended to. Some people misunderstand the INFJs quiet, sensitive nature as a form of weakness and feel they need to patronize them or ‘take charge’ of them . INFJs quickly see through this kind of behavior and, although they may bite their tongue initially, will likely lash out with uncharacteristic resolve and anger at someone who repeatedly talks down to them. Because INFJs combine Ni (Introverted Intuition) with Fe (Extraverted Feeling) and Ti (Introverted Thinking) they can easily analyze other people using a combination of insight, emotional awareness, and logical deduction. If you repeatedly patronize an INFJ, don’t be surprised if one day you find out they have been carefully collecting every logical flaw in your arguments, and every personal weakness you have to completely annihilate you when you’ve finally gone too far with your superior attitude.
Being Accused of Being too ‘Dreamy’
INFJs have a lot going on in their minds. They are less aware of their physical bodies than many other types, and can come across sometimes as clumsy or physically awkward. They can get so caught up in their thoughts that they bump into walls, people, railings, etc,.. They may habitually go into a room to get something, get lost in thought, and forget why they came there in the first place. Onlookers may suspect that the INFJ is flighty, when really, they are often lost in a very complex idea or thought. While the physical world is the comfort zone of the sensor, the mind is the comfort zone of the INFJ. This isn’t to say sensors don’t use their minds, they definitely do, intuitives are just more apt to be ‘stuck in their heads’ than sensors are. AN INFJs occasional lack of physical awareness isn’t because of a lack of mindfulness, but perhaps the result of intense, overwhelming thought.
What Do You Think?
What are your thoughts on these pet peeves? Do you agree or disagree? Let me know in the comments!