10 Things You Should Never Say To An ENTJ
ENTJs are known for their assertiveness, ambition, and effective use of logic. These big-picture intellectuals exude confidence and drive, and have an intense focus on their goals that is intriguing to other types. ENTJs are direct and forthright when they speak to people. They like to cut to the chase and leave out unnecessary details that detract from the overall vision of what they’re trying to express. Their communication is blunt, rational, and self-assured.
Certain phrases and words bother ENTJs more than other phrases. Generally speaking, all types hate hearing the word “Calm down”, “Relax”, or “You’re Being Too Sensitive.” As I surveyed hundreds of people I realized that every single one of them despised hearing these words. So we won’t include those on this list because those are so universally disliked. Let’s take a look at which phrases specifically infuriate the ENTJ.
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“Just Share Your Feelings With Me”
ENTJs are extremely private about their own emotions and feelings, and hate having to go into details about them on demand. Because Introverted Feeling (Fi) is the ENTJ’s inferior function, it can be difficult for them to focus extensively on how things affect them emotionally.
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“You Can’t Do That”
ENTJs are not only extremely goal-oriented and ambitious, they aren’t afraid to think outside the box. They detest being limited, underestimated, or stifled in any way. The more they are told they “can’t” do something, the more likely they are to accomplish it just to prove their naysayers wrong!
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“Let’s Finish This Later…”
ENTJs lead with a function called Extraverted Thinking (Te). Te is very decisive, focused, and productive. ENTJs hate dawdling, interruptions, and lazy behavior more than just about anything.
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“You Need to Lighten Up!”
ENTJs are hard workers and determined to achieve their life goals. Life is meant to be utilized to the highest degree and wasted time (even in the form of lighthearted entertainment) is anathema to them. They don’t want to be told to lighten up or “chill”. They have ambitions and dreams and goals to accomplish.
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“I Just Need to Vent! Just Listen and Stop Trying to Find a Solution!”
ENTJs are natural solution-seekers. It is painful for them to have to listen to someone “vent” all their emotions and feelings without seeking a way to resolve it. Emotional venting with no rational solution in mind seems completely counter-productive to them and like a waste of time. Everyone needs to vent sometimes (even ENTJs) but usually ENTJs feel annoyed or frustrated, even with themselves, when they do this.
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“Don’t Tell Me What You Think. Tell Me What You Feel.”
ENTJs find their own emotional feelings irrelevant to most decisions. They don’t generally lead with their heart, and find people who do confusing and possibly irritating. It seems useless to them to explore their emotional preferences when it comes to decision-making. This doesn’t mean they have no heart, they certainly do, but they find assessing their emotional needs an unreliable way to make decisions.
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“You Need to Smile More!”
You need to be less pushy maybe?
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“Let’s Change the Subject”
If an ENTJ is in the middle of discussing something important to them than nothing is more infuriating than an interruption. Te/Ni does not like to be interrupted/derailed/ignored.
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“So I went here…and it was like this…and then this happened…and wow, that happened too! and…and..”
ENTJs get very impatient with numerous extraneous details. To stay on their good side, get straight to the point! They don’t need to know what color shirt Aunt Thelma was wearing or how you got lost on your way to the house because you saw a pretty bird, and wow! that bird was really….okay, no, just say what needs to be said, and if a detail isn’t relevant to the main point leave it out.
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“Life is so unfair!”
ENTJs are highly independent and believe that everyone is responsible for making the most of their own life. Complaining, whining, and placing blame is infuriating to them. They believe everyone is responsible for their own fate and is in charge of making the most of every opportunity and obstacle.
What Are Your Thoughts?
Do these phrases bother you as well? Do you have any thoughts to add? Let us know in the comments!
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Good article, but it’s not that black and white. Also, almost none of these would piss me off, except:
– avoiding problems or avoiding confrontation
– limiting me from creating the best possible solution (because “it’s not procedure”, “too risky”, “we don’t do it that way”, bla bla bla)
– taking my time for granted, taking my effort for granted, ignoring my solutions like they are not even worth considering
Everything else, like asking for my feelings/emotions etc, just make me think you’re a little bit goofy, it wouldn’t piss me off.
I relate to a lot of this even as an INTJ.
Yes very true! I especially hate people who whine when they do nothing to improve their circumstances. And I hate lazy people! You can tell me about the pretty bird though, I won’t bite.
I think that no. 8 is the only one that could make me pissed off. I can’t stand when someone stops talking when there’s no a conclusion yet.
The only things that don’t annoy me are “Let’s finish this later” and “Let’s change the subject”, because I’m the one saying them. Although if an ENTJ is willing to humour me on the subject change, they’ll see that I was actually doing it in order to find a solution to the initial subject, and will return to where they want me if they hear me out.
Random details are interesting (to me), unless they’re part of a long emotional build-up to asking me for a favour, in which case I loathe them with all the fury of a blazing inferno.
Everything else I hate just as much as the ENTJ is supposed to. I’m an ENTP.
I, as an ENTJ, honestly find your post annoying, cut out everything else besides your last two statements and your good!
you’re*
10 Things You Should Never Say To An ENTJ ==> I recognize myself in all 10 subjects, but perhaps the most: the more happy I am, the more people actually tell me ‘I should smile more…’ 🙂
I have been told COUNTLESS times to “please stop trying to find a solution, just listen” and sorry to say no matter if I’m told to stop or not I am going to try to.
I was proposed last year and the first thing I replied to him is, to what extent you will present yourself in my life for the next 5, 10, and 15 years? He said I will still love you. I decided to turn him down. One thing that we hate is a proposal of something abstract as we value my relationship to be a platform to grow together, not just we receive affection and whatnot.
If you have a death wish tell me to shut up or act dismissively.
EXACTLY!
Haaa!!! I say almost all of these things to my entj husband! Omg i was dying of laughter reading this. Seriously though, this is good information, he must want to punch me like everyday lol
These are right on for me. I would add “You have to…” A sure-fire way to ensure I won’t! Thanks!
Well, damn. I’m very inteoverted and I’ve only tested as INTJ except on function usage preference tests, I get Te as first.
Each point on this list is right on. I actually started to become Progressively aggravated as I went through the list.
“Lighten up.”
“Not everything needs to be perfect.”
“I’ll do it later.”
Agree hard with all but maybe 9. If 9 is just casual conversation, I’ll want to know if there was any significance in Aunt Thelma’s shirt color and try to identify the pretty bird. I don’t mind mundane small talk. There’s always something to learn. Big no to mundane small talk that’s malicious or emotional, though. Bring on the details of getting lost, but please leave out the details of how it made you feel or how you saw this “weird” guy “awkwardly” flirting with a girl who’s “out of his league.” (gags)
Susan, It has been since my initial inventory of measurements that I have followed your input & insights since Aug. 20th 2020. I appreciate your investments with the craft you preform along with your motives.. My home is not a place, it’s people right up to the day I ‘kick’. I have not taken your insight lightly as I seek further light & my investments of learning. You make a difference. Thanks for your continued contributions. What virtue unites death can not separate.
I hate all of these. Immediately upon seeing the first one, I automatically snarled from repulsion (haha). I also especially hate number 8; it’s one of the quickest ways to make me angry.
As an ENTJ, you spoke nothing but facts!
Agreed! Would add another one: If only this or that had happened, If only I had done this… I dunno, just drives me crazy. The reality is not in the make believe world of ’if only’s’, it is amde up of what has actually happened and what we can make of that moving forward.
As an ENTJ I hate someone saying to me “what you need to understand is..”
because generally I’ve already understood it and moved on!
So on the nail!!
Don’t tell me the field I want to go in is niche so it’s hard to find. I know and I still want to be in it, so you either support me or don’t.
Life isn’t fair? Do something about it!! 🤣 My poor kids when they say that line.
Also repeating the same thing or word over and over again when trying to make a sentence. I’m trying so hard to be patient with my little ones cause I get it, they’re learning. My older ones and spouse…. Stoooooop. Just say it! Or think, then say it! 😖
Okay done laughing and adding my 2 bits!