The Flirting Style of the ISTJ Personality Type

ISTJs are competent individuals with a strong work ethic, a fun sense of humor, and a curious mind to boot.

They are certainly interesting cookies.

But how do they fare when it comes to flirting?

Much like ISFJs, ISTJs need some level of comfort with a person to move into the flirting realm. This isn’t to say ISTJs can’t be direct, but many like to assess potential partners with their introverted feeling function before making a move. They might ask themselves questions like, “Are their intentions good? Are they doing the right things?” If you pass an ISTJ’s radar screen and they pursue you, they will go from the politest person you’ve ever met, to there at a moment’s notice to honor you with their dedication.

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Estimated reading time: 5 minutes

The Flirting Style of the ISTJ Personality Type

Loyalty is a term whipped around quite often for the ISTJ, and for good reason. When ISTJs find a love interest that engages their Fi (Introverted Feeling function), they will stop at nothing to prove they are a capable partner. If you catch an ISTJ flirting in the following ways, you’ve found a keeper.

They Meet Your Functional Needs

When it comes to flirting, ISTJs do more to show their interest than meets the eye. Whereas ISFJs tend to create a pleasant ambiance within their space to attend to their partner’s sensory needs, ISTJs will meet their love interest’s functional needs. ISTJs are systematic thinkers, with a clear skill set in fixing problems like malfunctioning technology or miscalculated budges. This skill set transfers quite easily into the romance realm.

They’re a jack-of-all-trades for a reason, aren’t they?

ISTJs will go above and beyond when they are interested in someone in order to help them solve their practical problems. An ISTJ friend of mine mentioned that when a love interest needs help with a task, he will drop what he is doing that very moment and jump in to assist them. Computer running slow? Now it’s not. Your phone’s malfunctioning? That’s fixed. It doesn’t matter if they’re sitting in a dark movie theater when they get your call. They’ll leave just to help you.

On-call tech support not your vision of romance?

Let’s reframe this.

If someone drops their entire plans, goals, intentions, and routine just to help you, they’ve got something deep rippling for you. The point isn’t that ISTJs are just naturally doing what they do best when they help you, it’s that they will go out of their way for you in order to manage your functional needs. They want you to be able to move about as you wish, bug-free. Making sure your needs are met becomes their mission.

Get Touchy-Feely with You and Only You

ISTJs aren’t known for hugging everyone in the room. As ISTJs are often very in tune with their body, much like ISFJs are, they can feel physical sensations strongly and don’t tend to like when others get too close to their personal bubble (See: 5 Ways to Annoy an ISTJ). ISTJs will even withdraw if someone comes on too strong. They may even find it flat out uncomfortable to speak if a stranger tries to place a hand on their arm.

• ISTJ Equation #1: unexpected touching + stranger + strong introverted sensing = NO!

ISTJs often reserve the special feature of touch for someone they feel intimate towards. Skin to skin contact actually becomes desirable for the ISTJ when they like someone. Rather than withdraw, they lean into the physical manifestation of their interest.

• ISTJ Equation #2: playful touching + love interest + strong introverted sensing = YAS!

3. Risk Their Routine for You

ISTJs enjoy spending time with their “inner circle,”, but they also strive to stick to their daily plans on principle. ISTJs love their routines, but if they’re into you, they’ll love you even more than their comfortable habits. If they have a full schedule, but you want to grab a coffee on Monday at 4am, they’ll meet you.

Please don’t have them meet you at 4am for coffee though, because they’ll do it and you’ll later feel like a dang guilty individual.

Just throwing that out there.

4. Stop at Nothing to Learn About You

ISTJs lead with introverted sensing, which focuses on impressions that resonate from the past. They are always building their Si “storage bank” with new information, experiences, and so on. The more time they spend with you, the more they get to know you and get to learn about you. Is this flirting? For the Si brain, yes. There’s an intensity to wanting to remember someone so distinctly that comes so naturally to higher Si users. Remember, they are creating Si storage files with material on you.

Quite a come-on.

What Are Your Thoughts?

Did you enjoy this article? Do you have any insights or experiences to share with fellow readers? Let us know in the comments!

About the Author:

Jami Cannon is an MBTI® enthusiast who hopes to shed more light on the SJ experience. She holds a very stereotypical degree in History (MA) and loves to learn all she can about the people around her.