How to De-Stress Your Loved Ones, Based On Their Myers-Briggs® Personality Type

Right now the world is in a stage of panic and anxiety. Everyone is having a really rough time trying to stay calm. If you’re stuck in your home with a significant other or family member that you dearly love, but is starting to lose their cool in a way that confuses you, here are some tips that may help them based on their personality type!

Not sure what your personality type is? Take our new personality questionnaire here. Or you can take the official MBTI® here.

The ENFP:

Try to invoke their lead Extroverted Intuition and help them imagine ways to keep themselves entertained while staying indoors. ENFPs need their creative side to be stimulated to avoid going stir crazy, so if you are down to patiently help them organize the millions of amazing projects they usually can cook up but just don’t have the time to, you might help them relax entirely!

The ENTP:

Similar to ENFPs, ENTPs also have Extroverted Intuition, but they like to use it to solve problems. Help them figure out a way to diagnose how the systems in the house run and a better way at making them more streamlined (i.e. if the sink always sprays water, maybe they can help find a way to keep the dishes dry anyway). ENTPs need something to chew on to distract themselves, so finding new ways to put their killer logic to use will remind them they have value even during a quarantine.

The ESTP:

An ESTP needs some action to stay grounded. If possible, remind them to take their nature walks or even do some series of workout videos to entertain their Extroverted Sensing. Every ESTP wants to be physically stimulated to let off loose steam, and all the better if you as a partner are down to work off that excess energy with them. They do need to see the beauty of the world outside of their immediate four walls, so join them in venturing out.

The ESTJ:

ESTJs want to be hyper-aware of everything going on, so make it a point to check in with them about what you’re doing or brainstorming to make sure everyone’s accounted for. ESTJs will make sure you have enough stored toilet paper and food as their way of caring, so do them a favor and show you’re also thinking of such things to reassure them they’re not the only ones carrying the burden. Otherwise, they’ll start getting neurotic with lead Extroverted Thinking about controlling every step of the process! Reassure them before they even have to.

The ESFJ:

ESFJs fuss a lot over the hospitality aspects of being a good friend, family member or partner. Take extra time to remind them how much you appreciate their worrying and helpful intentions, and try not to take it too personally if they get a little stir crazy on you. ESFJs just want to be able to parent and help all of their friends, so letting them know you see that and want to help make their life easier makes it worth it. They need an extra dose of appreciation to remind them they don’t have to overexert themselves during this time!

The ESFP:

ESFPs will also miss the outdoors, but they are drawn to novelty of all sorts and this can work in your favor. If you have an ESFP partner who is needing some Extroverted Sensing stimulation, cooking and baking may actually be interesting hobbies that can help them pass the time! They can replicate their favorite yummy recipes from YouTube videos and share them with the house, while also getting their hands on something physical and being able to create something new!

The ISTP:

The ISTP won’t necessarily need help de-stressing because they’ve already likely thought out how they will deal with the crisis. However, ISTPs can be a bit self-righteous about having figured out all the ways they don’t need to worry, but sometimes they will overlook their own worry and that can manifest as almost deadly calm. Reminding them they can talk about their feelings if they do need to is important. Letting them know you’re there for them and you’re in this worry together may plant a seed that, when the stress does set in, they have somewhere to turn to.

The ISFP:

Encourage the ISFP to express their Introverted Feeling through art. They may want to shy away from all the intense empathy they feel for others’ predicaments at the moment, but being reminded they can give soothing comfort to people whether it’s through music, dance, painting, writing or any other creative pursuit, they’ll be able to feel like they’re adding to the collective solution.

The INFP:

The best way to de-stress an INFP is to walk them through what they’d do in worst-case scenarios. INFPs will often feel helpless in these sorts of situations because their emotions overwhelm them. Thus, making plans in the multiple horrible situations that will help them deal with such feelings and giving them a routine can help them with the catastrophic thinking revolving around what they fear will happen. Thus, having patience and reassuring them of what is in their control will really help. They need someone to help them organize their logical conclusions and abilities, so just listen to them and be curious about helping them make sense of it all.

Read This Next: 7 Ways That INFPs Make an Impact

The INTP:

INTPs may spend their days going down information rabbit holes to keep entertained during this time. This way, they can live in their heads or in alternate realities while also musing over how to organize the information coming at them. The best way to deal with this is to be someone who finds this interesting and keeps them company listening. Otherwise, the INTP may feel shy about sharing themselves, and interaction with the external world is still very important to keep them balanced and healthy.

The ISTJ:

The ISTJ will likely be waiting for the stock market to pick itself up again, or worrying about their job security in the upcoming months. Remind them that inactivity can sometimes be the best way to energize and give the world the best they can offer. They likely already take care of their bodies, but it’s their minds and intuition that may feel free to wander right now that their lives are slower. Encourage them to see this as a good thing!

The ISFJ:

The ISFJ may be feeling even more introverted because of all the people they feel unable to help because of distancing. If your ISFJ is stressing out and retreating into a shell, make sure to not let them do that. Check in with their emotions, and actually share ones that you’re struggling with too. It’s a reminder to them that they’re not alone, because that’s the sort of connection they still want to feel right now even within the chaos. Have a heart to heart in which you share what’s going on with you, and you may find them brightening up.

The INFJ:

INFJs may be scared of their bodies and unsure how to perceive if a cough is just a cough, or if they’re actually in danger of contracting something. With lead Introverted Intuition, they aren’t naturally in tune with the sensory world, so help them research the symptoms of the disease and give them a way to track their bodily movements so they don’t become consumed with feeling out of control. INFJs are the people who will understand the ‘point’ of suffering but not how to prevent it from happening. Remind them to self-care when they can, but also making sure to create an ability to be in tune with your body by loving it is also something they are hopefully mastering during this time.

Read this next: A Look at INFJ Rage

The INTJ:

An INTJ is probably overloading on facts right now to deal with their stress. At the same time, they are probably trying to be extra helpful by giving out facts and advice to other people. Sometimes, you can help them by ‘reading the room’ as to whether people can handle more information or not. You could suggest that they keep a Google doc of helpful articles and resources and ask before giving advice that they view as ‘comforting.’ This can help them navigate and avoid any potential fights with people that deal with stress differently. It’s funny how for an INTJ, the stress may actually come from them not understanding other people’s emotional reactions!

Read this next: 10 Things That Terrify INTJs

The ENFJ:

ENFJs are probably organizing some sort of community effort or participating in a way to help others during this time. Even if they aren’t the frontline organizers, they’ll be trying their best to contribute to helping society as best as they can. If they start to fret about the details of the visions they’ve planned out, remind them of how much they’ve already accomplished and the impacts they’ve made.

The ENTJ:

Many ENTJs may see the need to unload their stress by exploring the origins of the problem or engaging in the scientific reasoning behind some of the media-advocated solutions. They’ll be the ones picking apart things and wanting someone to listen to them; it’s their way of retaining control in this situation. If you’re willing to be that person for them, they’ll respect your presence and you may even learn something new. ENTJs want to feel useful during this time, and implementing solutions they suggest or looking for solutions with them can help them to feel supported, respected, and calm.

What Are Your Thoughts?

Do you have any insights or suggestions to add? Let us know in the comments!

Find out more about your personality type in our eBooks, Discovering You: Unlocking the Power of Personality Type,  The INFJ – Understanding the Mystic, and The INFP – Understanding the Dreamer. You can also connect with me via Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter!

About the Author:

Crystal Duan is an ENFP freelance reporter and writer based in Los Angeles. Her work has been featured in Bustle, The Washington Post, and The Minneapolis Star Tribune. In her spare time, she focuses on bringing attention to social justice and mental health issues through the lens of personality and the Jungian functions. Follow Crystal on Twitter, Facebook, read her articles on Medium, or visit her web site at crystal-duan.com.