21 Signs That You’re an Enneagram 9 “Peacemaker”
Being an Enneagram 9 is like being the human version of a cozy blanket—everyone feels better when you’re around. You thrive on keeping the peace, avoiding conflict like it’s a bad blind date, and making sure everyone else is comfortable, even if you’re secretly screaming on the inside (but let’s work on that). If you’re wondering whether you’re a Peacemaker at heart, here are 21 signs that you might just be the calm in everyone else’s storm.
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21 Signs That You’re an Enneagram 9 Personality Type
#1. You Can Mediate Any Situation
The office meltdown? Family feud? Friend drama? You’re the one everyone calls to smooth things over. Like a human Switzerland, you somehow keep everyone calm—but sometimes you need a big break afterward to take a nap and recharge from all the emotional overload.
#2. Conflict? No Thanks.
If someone so much as raises their voice, you’re already plotting your exit strategy. Conflict makes you feel jittery and overwhelmed. Avoidance is your superpower, even if it’s not always helpful. But remember, just because it’s natural doesn’t mean it’s always what’s best for you. Your voice matters and sometimes you need to raise it! I’ve written an article about Nines and anger and how to process it effectively without avoidance here.
#3. You’re the King (or Queen) of Chill
Your ability to be relaxed in most situation is legendary. You make “going with the flow” look effortless. You probably have a few mantras at the ready when life seems overwhelming. My mom is a 9 and hers were always, “God is in control” or “We just need to be grateful for what we have.” Sometimes this helped, yet many times as a Four, it felt too simplistic (but to each their own).
#4. You Have an Inner Stubborn Streak
Sure, you seem like the most laid-back person in the room, but when someone messes with your inner peace, your heels dig in deep. You’ll go along with things—until you absolutely won’t. And then there’s no budging you whatsoever.
#5. At Times, Procrastination Is the Go-To
You’ve got a special relationship with procrastination, and sometimes it’s your closest companion. This is especially true if the people around you are being pushy, overwhelming, or condescending. You’ll let them know just how much you appreciate their “advice” by putting it off.
#6. You’re Everyone’s Emotional Support Person
People naturally gravitate to you for advice, a listening ear, or just a calm presence. You sometimes feel like a human weighted blanket.
#7. You Need Alone Time to Recharge
As much as you love keeping the peace with others, nothing recharges your battery like some quality “you” time. Solitude is your sanctuary and you need to protect it. This gives you a chance to tune into your own personal feelings, thoughts, and desires.
#8. You Sometimes Say “Yes” When You Mean “No”
It’s not that you’re indecisive—you just really, really don’t want to cause any waves. So sometimes you agree to things you’d rather not, just to keep the peace. Remember, your voice is just as valuable as anyone else’s (and depending on the relationship, sometimes moreso). Practice saying “No” little by little, and asserting your needs and boundaries.
#9. You Daydream Like It’s Your Job
Your inner world is like a secret paradise, and you escape to it often. It’s far more peaceful than reality, and you’ll take that any day.
#10. Harmony is Everything
You’ll do just about anything to avoid a fight and maintain harmony in your relationships. But sometimes that means putting your own needs last. Remember that true harmony can’t happen if you’re not even recognizing your own needs, values, and feelings. True harmony is when you can be really and truly yourself while also respecting other’s autonomy and individual needs.
#11. You’re a Natural Empath
People feel safe around you, probably because you understand their emotions almost better than they do. Many Nines are active listeners, paying attention not just to what people say, but the undercurrents of emotion beneath the words. You often instinctively know what people need to feel heard and understood.
#12. You Avoid Confrontation If Possible
Even when you know you should speak up, it’s so much easier to just avoid the conflict. You’ll hold in your frustration until it practically simmers—then it comes out in a quiet, passive-aggressive side-eye. But try to remember that anger isn’t inherently bad. It won’t fragment you into thousands of unmendable pieces. Anger can sometimes be just the pathway to growth, connection, and healing. You just have to be able to channel it in a constructive and honest way.
#13. You Have a Philosophy of Life
There’s something magical about proverbs, quotes, and ready-made answers to the chaos of life. You love a saying that offers solace (“I am grateful” “Everything I need is within me”) and you cling to these philosophies and ideals when life feels overwhelming or unpredictable.
#14. You Feel Invisible Sometimes
In your quest to keep the peace, you can end up blending into the background. It’s not that people don’t value you—they just don’t realize how much you’re holding everything together.
#15. You Are Patient
When someone comes to you with a problem, you don’t rush them with logical solutions or quick fixes. Instead, you really hear what they’re trying to say and you use your imagination to offer an inspiring, healing vision of a better life.
#16. You’re Calm in a Crisis
Oddly enough, when everyone else is losing their mind, you’re the picture of serenity. You strive to maintain your inner zen regardless of outward storms, and it often works. Just make sure you’re not dissociating to do this.
#17. You Have an Almost Painful Awareness of Everyone Else’s Needs
It’s like you have a radar for when someone’s upset, and you automatically shift to make them feel better—even if it means ignoring your own needs (stop doing that!).
#18. You’re a Master of Compromise
Nobody negotiates like you do. You’re always the one to figure out the middle ground that everyone else can’t seem to find.
#19. You Often Feel Like You’re Carrying Other People’s Problems
Because you’re the “chill” person, others sometimes unload their issues onto you. It’s like you’ve become the de facto emotional dumping ground—whether you asked for it or not.
#20. You love to relax and take it easy
Whether it’s Netflix and chill or coffee and a sunset, you savor those peaceful, calm moments that signal you can let your guard down and just be.
#21. You sometimes fear change or strong feelings
You try to keep yourself in a place of calm relaxation and steadiness. When you do have an eruption of emotion or life does get really turbulent you worry that your inner peace will be decimated. To prevent this, you try to set up routines and habits that will give you a sense of stability and predictability. Finding comfort and certainty is key.
What Do You Think?
Do you relate to these signs? Are there other signs you’d add to this list? Let us and other readers know in the comments! Find out more about your personality type in our eBooks, Discovering You: Unlocking the Power of Personality Type, The INFJ – Understanding the Mystic, and The INFP – Understanding the Dreamer. You can also connect with me via Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter!
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