3 Weird and Wonderful Secrets About the INFJ
“We’re all a little weird. And life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness-and call it love -true love.”
– Robert Fulghum
Are INFJs weird? As an MBTI® practitioner I hear it again and again.
” I thought I was so weird, so strange…and now it all makes sense!”
“Everyone has always said I was weird”
“I’ve always felt weird”
People who have felt like outcasts or oddballs their whole lives discover their personality type and suddenly years of confusion and frustration start to melt away. Suddenly someone doesn’t feel “wrong” because they perceive things differently than their parents did or their teachers did. Suddenly an individual realizes that who they are is a beautiful thing! Sure, they’re not perfect. We all have our strengths and weaknesses. But it’s okay to be different – in fact, it’s good to be different and unique!
INFJs tend to feel this relief in a very strong way. Because INFJs are such a small percentage of the population, it can be especially difficult for them to find like-minded friends and confidantes. Many times INFJs feel they have to “play a part” to fit in or form relationships.
One of the greatest joys I’ve experienced as a personality blogger is seeing so many INFJs make peace with themselves, accept their strengths and see them as strengths. I love seeing people embrace their “weirdness” and unique individuality and I hope that learning about your type can do that for you, too.
So what makes INFJs “weird” and wonderful? What three unusual characteristics make them stand out? Let’s take a look!
Table of contents
Estimated reading time: 9 minutes
Not sure what your personality type is? Take our new personality questionnaire here. Or you can take the official MBTI® here.
3 Weird and Wonderful Secrets About the INFJ Personality Type
INFJs Foresee Future Implications with Uncanny Accuracy
INFJs are dominant Introverted Intuitives. This means that every bit of information they take in is pieced together into a “vision” or insight into what will take place in the future. This foresight tends to appear out of the blue in a sudden moment of realization and clarity. This all sounds very magical and mysterious, but there’s a science behind it. You can find out more about that here. This ability to spot future possibilities makes INFJs strategic, creative, and sometimes mysterious.
“Because INFJs have such strong insights and imaginative visions for the future,
they can use their creativity to bring these ideas and visions to life. Intuitive
hunches and visions, often so esoteric, can become brilliant and unforgettable in
creative form”
– The INFJ – Understanding the Mystic
INFJs are wired to see patterns, symbols, strategies, and future implications. Because they are so constantly in this mental state it can seem like they are “psychic,” but it’s really just the way they are used to seeing the world and perceiving the data around them.
Each personality type is wired to notice different things. As an example, ESTPs, are highly attuned to the present moment and incredibly in touch with current details. They react faster to changes than most people and notice more nuanced details than other types. They are extremely in tune with the present.
INFJs, in contrast, are incredibly attuned to the future and are always on the lookout for situations or events that might change or alter future events. Everything is seen in the context of how it will play out someday. As a result, INFJs are quicker to pick up on future outcomes or transformations than most other types.
INFJs See Two (or More) People In Everyone
One of the lesser spoken-of qualities of Introverted Intuition is the ability to discern hidden motives. As Ni-dominant types, INFJs are quick to grasp the intentions and underlying goals that other people are aiming for.
“…Their Ni provides a deeper sense or impression of people, penetrating appearances and revealing hidden motives and intentions.”
– Dr. A.J. Drenth, The 16 Personality Types: Profiles, Theory, & Type Development
““Introverted Intuition quickly grasps the meaning behind words. Its focus is on reading between-the-lines.”
– Building Blocks of Personality Type by Mark Hunziker and Leona Haas
INFJs are drawn to complexity and rarely accept anything at face-value. For that reason, they naturally look for the deeper motives and intentions of other people and are always trying to “peel away the layers” of someone’s personality type and find their core purpose, desires, and truth.
While INFJs see the outer persona and the surface-level interactions of others, they are more focused on what’s going on behind the scenes. They are always trying to figure out the deeper meanings behind why people say or do the things they do.
The strength of intuition paired with the INFJ’s auxiliary function, Extraverted Feeling (Fe), gives INFJs a special awareness of the emotional health or mood of another person. They often get a sense of how other people are feeling, even when those people are trying to keep their emotions hidden. They have a tendency to absorb other people’s emotions into themselves, which can be confusing at times. It can be easy for them to get other people’s emotions mixed up with their own.
INFJs Often Appear Extraverted Even Though They’re Highly Introverted
INFJs are extremely concerned with maintaining morale and making sure that everyone feels welcome and at home in their presence. They want to maintain harmony in whatever social realm they’re in and will go to great lengths to ensure that everyone’s emotional needs are met. As a result, they tend to appear much more outgoing socially than they really are. They may speak up during awkward silences or use humor to diffuse tense moments. They tend to speak to people they feel are left out and try to make them feel welcome. Many INFJs will poke fun at themselves or use self-deprecating humor to ease the tension in the room or help someone who is feeling shy or uncomfortable.
“In larger groups, INFJs may seem consistently cheery as part of their attempt to cultivate good feelings. Many INFJs have a good sense of humor and can be funny and engaging…Even if not to the same extent as ENFJs, INFJs can be warm, welcoming, loyal, giving, and self-sacrificing. At the same time, as Introverts, they need time to themselves to recharge their proverbial batteries. This creates an ongoing, even lifelong struggle for INFJs, trying to balance their own needs and desires with those of others.”
Dr. A.J. Drenth, The 16 Personality Types: Profiles, Theory, & Type Development
INFJs need a lot of alone time to process information, to get in touch with their intuition, and to reflect. They can get frustrated when they have to socialize a lot because they end up relying much more on their auxiliary feeling function than their dominant intuition. Over time, this can leave them feeling overwhelmed and drained. Ni is notoriously difficult to access in social settings, and, like all types, INFJs are most happy when they can tune into their dominant function. As a result, INFJs may feel the need to “disappear” regularly to recharge and get back in touch with their insights and ideas.
“While INFJs are skilled at creating harmony, they simultaneously feel a need to be
alone to process information and recover after being in social situations. This can
create confusion for people who know them because after spending much time
with others, the INFJ will need to retreat into their own environment for days or
even weeks to be able to reflect, think, and process things clearly. During this time,
the INFJ may cut off all outside contact to be able to gain composure and a sense
of peace. This back and forth between socializing and isolation is normal for the
INFJ, but can be confusing to friends and family members who may take the INFJs
retreats from them personally.”
You might see INFJs referred to as “the most extraverted introverts” in articles and personality forums. And while this is true in one sense, it couldn’t be more false in another. While INFJs can appear very extraverted socially, they need quite a lot of alone time and actually get exhausted much faster than many other introverts do in social settings. This is largely because they can get so caught up in maintaining everyone else’s morale that they lose sight of their own needs.
What Are Your Thoughts?
Do you relate to these “weird” INFJ qualities? Share your thoughts with us in the comments!
Want to discover your true potential as an INFJ? Check out my latest eBook, The INFJ – Understanding the Mystic. This book is packed with in-depth information on the INFJ personality type, as well as relationship tips, career tips, parenting tips, and more!
Want to Book a One-on-One Type Consultation with Me?
Not sure of your personality type? I can help you! As the founder of Psychology Junkie and an MBTI® practitioner I’ve spent over seven years helping people discover their true personality type. Use the scheduler below to book a session with me!
Other Articles You Might Enjoy:
10 Things You’ll Relate to If You’re an INFJ
Get Your Free INFJ eBook
As a thank you for subscribing to my newsletter I will send you this free eBook PACKED with self-care tips, creativity hacks, and more! You'll also get a 3-day email course for understanding your personality type better!
Described me to a tee!
Spot on.
And, yes, a relief to know I’m not just weird. Life changing, in fact.
Hello, could I please have source for the image youve used in cover of this article?
Hi there! Here is a link to the stock photo: https://www.pexels.com/photo/art-attractive-beautiful-beauty-458381/
This Is extremely accurate. I have such a hard time getting my alone time. And it’s so frustrating! Hence the lack of alone time makes my mind and ideas blurred.
Me to a “T”
INFJ here and damn, it doesn’t get more accurate than this!!!
I can relate myself a lot to these traits.I feel a lot of solace in the interplay of Natural forces like if the sky is overcast with clouds and it rains and thunders i feel an intrinsic connection with the divine around and it enhances my sensitivity to an extent that I feel one with the divine.
That’s me to a T!
And my phd therapist helped further when she tested for top dominant personality traits. Understanding your type and traits as a couple can keep your relationship together. As a parent, it helps communicate why you feel the way you do, as a worker bee, it’s helped me communicate better also.
It’s so enlightening to read about yourself and be like “Yup…. that’s me to a T.” Especially the friends of INFJ being confused. Countless times I have been super social only to turn into a recluse and have friends hurt or confused. I’ve even been called “bipolar”— (which is not true. I’ve checked. ?)—- It is just me recharging! I wish all my friends would take the Myer Briggs test so I can learn everything about their personalities as well, and how to be a better friend to them!
I’m so incredibly glad that I found out that I am an INFJ at such a young age (15 or 16 I believe). Haha I’m only 17 now, but I already feel like I have learned to embrace the unique things about me instead of trying to change myself to fit in
You are very lucky. I didn’t find out about it until 2 years ago…and I’m 51. Could have saved me a whole life of self hatred and trying to please everyone else. Spread the word. 🙂
I feel the same way, I didn’t find out until I was forty!
SO TRUE!!!
I found out I was INFJ when I was only 12 and reading through that stuff now I totally agree with basically all of it.
Thank you for all that you do! Every bit of your information that send out helps me to know, everyday, that I am normal and helps me better understand myself as being an INFJ. It took me 30 years to finally love myself and know myself. I feel so much relief and peace knowing who I am thanks! I am thankful and greatful for you everyday!!!!
Thank you so much! I’m so glad my articles are helpful to you, that makes my day 🙂 I really appreciate it! I’m glad you’re finding encouragement and community with MBTI!
I’m kind of relieved to know that I’m normal for my type. I have a long way to go to get to a healthy self acceptance.
I wish I could be more communicative, and I am if and only if I feel 100 percent safe. But, honestly, if I don’t have anything to say, I feel I’m just making useless chatter, and don’t talk. But, inside my head? Endless conversation and thinking.
Someday, I will appreciate myself more fully, I hope and not feel like a square peg trying to fit into a round hole.
As a child I was always buying newspapers with my pocket money. I wanted to know what was going on in the world.
I would always watch the news on tv.
By the age of ten years old my head was full of so much knowledge stored in my head i knew who was who and what was happening or had happened in the world.
BUT !!! I was never that academically strong.
Ha! I’m 61 and I just found out I am an INFJ a couple of months ago! It all makes sense now! Still have residual depression and social anxiety, but it is much easier to manage since I have given myself permission to be me. Thank you Susan!
Thanks a lot for sharring your work..it’ s helpfull and mindcalming..a lot, actually?
The section about how INFJs often seem like extroverts… Describes who I am at work to a tee!! It’s like you were there watching me! Lol 🙂 When I read how infjs want other people to feel welcome and at home in their presence, I thought yes that is exactly how I feel! Most of the time I would rather work quietly & not talk out loud when I’m at work (or church, at a family gathering, etc)… I usually feel stressed or like I am not being myself when I do speak up & share my thoughts… but I often find myself feeling a need to break a silence at work to be sure no one feels lonely or uncomfortable. That is so true!! I will also often answer someone’s jibber jabberring (I mean that in a nice way, it’s not necessarily a bad thing…) because I know no one else is comfortable enough or able to listen enough to answer the person back… And because of the nature of things, this sometimes happens especially with people who are more blunt or rude in their manner of speaking… I want so badly to avoid them, yet I cannot bear to watch the thoughts they have expressed fall to silence… Even though I can’t stand rudeness, at the same time I don’t want anyone to feel ignored or unappreciated. Lol 🙂 I guess I fit the infj category pretty well!! Thanks for your posts, I so enjoy your blog!
“Foresee Future Implications with Uncanny Accuracy” hmm in my case it appears a little bit different. I have the ability to see all possibilities in the future which can appear and I like to create special boundaries as the worst and the best possibility how will go the situation. However, I think that in my case this skill goes very strong with the auxiliary function, Extraverted Feeling (Fe). So, for example, I will order a drink for someone before this person even open the mouth to the waitress. I can without hesitation to say what someone is thinking about. I can even write to someone message with the answer to the question who someone wants to ask me but still did not do this yet. Some people are scared about me and keep asking me: “how did you know what I want, what I am thinking about” etc
Well, I just know, it is so obvious to me. I can communicate without verbal communication pretty well.
What a lovely article. I do disappear for days and weeks a lot especially after dealing with crowds or too many people in a day. It’s why I have a dog and a cat I need things around me that don’t speak per say cause it gets too loud. It’s one thing I am always observing but then add the people, their needs, my anxiety, my depression when it chooses to swing on by, plus I come from a large demanding family. I want to run for the hills!! Become a hermit. I’m doing my best to move out as I speak because the transfer of energy
I suck up is too much. I found out I was a INFJ when I was about 18 from a Myers Briggs I thought was wrong but I love people watching and it then snowballed that I was after I noticed many similar natural things friends pointed stuff out too. The visions happen a lot too even now as a child a little less but a lot more.
Thank you, the extraverted introvert. That concept has always been my confliction. I often feel like a pretender, after long social interactions that feeling gets stronger and I don’t feel like I belong, my akwardness kicks in I and find a way to escape.
This blows me away … it’s like the author climbed inside me and described me to a T. No one has ever known me … not really. Reading this gave me chill bumps because now I understand. I’m 61 and finally understand.
OMG!I just can’t believe that I fit into a personality type this much!If anyone ever wants to get to know me, I’d tell them to give this article a read.Lovely♡Thanks for it all♡
I’m so glad that this article helped you! Thanks for the feedback!!
Great Article. Only at the age of 40 did I realize that my weirdness is actually normal…..for me anyway. Thank you
Thank you for this article. It’s nice to know that I’m not alone and there are others like me, rare as we are. As a child I felt like a constant outsider and I always felt so lonely, trying to fit in. I found out I am an INFJ over 16 years ago and the relief I felt, that I wasn’t weird. To be honest I’ve embraced my personality type and try to make it work for me in life and work. I work in Human Resources because I love helping people and this will be my career till I retire because two days are never the same and it indulges my need to know and understand people.
Wow this is so me! So scary how precise it is. I’ve gained some insights from it as well. I always knew I was weird in my own special way. Now I know why lol
Everything in this article is spot on to my experience. It’s hard to build intimacy with people when you have to occasionally pull away. Most people take it personally even after you try to explain. Still I don’t regret trying. I know I can make people feel better at least for awhile.
I completely agree, this is totally me.
It’s a pity that the word “extrovert” is misspelt through this entire article.
Hi! It’s actually not misspelled. This is the correct spelling according to Jungian typology (which the MBTI is based off of). You can find out more here: https://blogs.scientificamerican.com/beautiful-minds/the-difference-between-extraversion-and-extroversion/
Omg! You blew my mind!!! This is SO me ???? that’s carzy
Hi, it was a revelation (about three years ago) finding out I was an INFJ as well as an empath everything in and around my life went click click click into place suddenly plus gradually I could see and feel through my heart a beautiful sense of clarity sense of purpose and a new found solid confidence an understanding towards myself learning to love and forgive myself those visions and dreams I felt unattainable are true, worthy and waiting for my attention all these intuitive thoughts and feeling I’ve doubted and believed in since young while enduring others always telling me I was silly and stupid, well well the chickens have certainly come home to roost now; people who thought they where superior who thought knew what was best for me are not so sure now, their sense of self worth and condescending attitude with underdeveloped emotional intelligence is becoming self evident to themselves their identity is starting to crack and decay doubts and confrontation with their true heart and shadow side is emerging into their worst nightmare; that life is stranger than fiction is a validation of the true magic and mystery weaving and waxing throughout all life on this planet
I feel immense compassion for the human condition the paradox of why we exist, seeing the suffering with unshakable sorrow brings me to tears at certain intervals when I see into their hearts most are too ashamed with stubborn pride and lack of humility to connect to the sacred oneness or realise their separation is the cause of their misery too fearful of letting the illusion of self die (even though self loathing is ingrained) it’s all they think they know because humans have developed through cultural conditioning a narrow awareness with intentions that focus on ‘what’s in it for me’ driven by fear of the other always searching for the answers to life’s fundamental problems outside of themselves through endless knowledge thats never ends and is always incomplete, with separation of status, order and hierarchical values ‘ask an expert’ judgements; comparisons and value in words (the word is not the thing) the pecking order of naming and status is the illusion of success and becoming but never arriving In the beauty of the moment, the great sorrow of never realising there is a place where unconditional love and total interdependence rule, where timeless magical spaces beyond though and imagination exists, the mother of all universes is deep inside everyone of us where without the self there is no centre to restrict true freedom and purity of heart where one can touch and connect their authentic heartfelt soul with everything that ever excised
What poetry it speaks to me so well. I’m happy to hear you have friends undo your course, though you have had a long and dogged fight from the nay-sayers. I’ve just found I’m an INFJ too and I fell like I’ve come home. To myself. And there and brothers and sisters too out there. I wish you every joy. You will surprise them all, they have underestimated you and I feel the same way about my past. We are connected to a truth, and we embrace the weirdness of it all!
I try not to believe what i read but the truth is it’s completely me. I always thought that I’m a crazy person, and sad too since i find it is hard to fit in, I’m craving for a friend that can accept me for who i am, how i am really but then regardless of what they did, i always try to make things okay. It used up all my energy and i keep wanting time for myself, alone and away from those pain that i felt for being this way, I mean with this personality. And now I’m still trying really hard to learn about me. I hope i can see the bigger picture soon. What a life!
Hi my name is ZALA I am INFJ
Well all the things I read about my personality all of them are true .
Thanks Susan to tell me about my personality ????
Oh my this is so scarcely me I really don’t want to believe it. Especially the part about needing to disappear to recharge batteries, now I have an explanation of why I feel so tired dealing with people
I really love reading your articles. What facinates me the most is how everything written matches my personality. It helps me organise myself in terms of understanding certain behaviours and characters. Thank you very much.
Thank you!! I’m so glad that you’re relating to the articles and finding some solidarity 🙂
Thank you for this. I understand myself more especially with the last point. Now that I’ve been married to my awesome husband for 2 years (he’s an ENFJ) we have spent a lot of time together recently and I’ve been getting drained and overwhelmed a lot easier than before so I’m finding myself “zoning out” a lot and trying to explain to him that I really need alone time to recharge when he’s completely the opposite. He needs people around to recharge so it makes him a little sad and tries hard not to take personally the fact that I need to get away from him and everyone else to keep my sanity
I’m an Infj , I’m really
Hi Susan.. I just discovered that I am an INFJ.. I am relieved.. but there are no words to describe my internal reflection on so many things at one time. I see myself in everything you have written here. For years I have wondered what is wrong with me. I absolutely love people, but I have suffered cruelty from others to the point of starting to just want to be more to myself. I have desperately longed for true friendship.. just one honest heartfelt friend. I can barely bring myself to hope that it will ever happen. In the meantime I am married to an ESFP with seven children. I want to write so much.. but my thoughts are the color of my tears. Thank you for your post and all that you do.
Just Wow and Thank you Susan, my Sisterfriend.
When I came across the MBTI test and my results 5 yrs back I was astounded!! I finally made sense to Me. I had done much personal discovery and recovery work in AA already but this revelation was the missing piece to My puzzle. You have further enlightened me and continue to do so in you research and writing. I hang on every word, but more I live every detailed thought, emotion and action you speak of. Keep them coming! A debt of gratitude I owe to you. Thank you and God Bless You!!
Eternally greatFull,
Cindy
AWw, thank you so much Cindy! I’m so glad that you enjoy the articles and find them helpful! It really encourages me to hear from you! Thanks so much!!! *Susan*
Hi Susan, I am an INFJ as well as Enneagram 5 ???? So I’m probably weirder than most people.. Every single person I know, finds it hard to believe that I’m an introvert. The amount of times I’ve had to explain “noo, shyness does not equate to introvertness” to people is unbelievable. People see how friendly I am in social situations (those that I absolutely cannot get out of!) and won’t believe me when I say I’m exhausted for days afterwards and just wanted to stay home hibernating. Thank you for all your articles. I love reading them and I love learning more about myself and why I behave and think the way I do.
Wow I am really very surprised by the accuracy of the description, I have described things that I have never been able to describe even for myself not to mention the people. As for the subject of the article , as a matter of fact that I have the INFJ type of personality , I encourage everyone and specially the INFJ’s to accept their strange weird characteristics and love them more than any things.
I started doing this recently and I cannot describe how amazing it is and how much it has helped me reach an internal peace that I have always aspired to achieve.
Finally, I want to express the extent of my love for your articles and how your words affect me and how much you have helped me to understand myself better, really thank you so much , I wish you all the best and I hope you continue in this beautiful work because you really help make exceptional individuals who can create from their features or even from weaknesses and strangeness in their personality, things that will change the world and make it a place that deserve sacrifices to live in .
Peace and love ????✨
Hi Susan, thank you for your clear insightful thoughts on the psychological character traits of us misunderstood INFJ’s
Don’t know why you neglect INFJ’s natural perception in developing their psychic abilities; they are made for this high frequency wave function; tuning into the audible life stream is one of life’s greatest mysteries the landscape of memories that have gone before us and made us who we are; these memories are embedded into everything that vibrates it’s all a matter of paying attention to the wave function, just before the pressure drop (at the top of the wave) in an instant one can see the form of the future in the atrophy of the wave form; to understand this natural phenomenon one needs to connect their heart to the deep heart of nature (this is the essence of creation)
To listen deeply is to see without looking; without the eye and ‘I’ being distracted with an onslaught of visual distractions that have little meaning being just mindless entertainment; what I used to feel was a curse a blight on my life has turned out to be a blessing, feel incredibly fortunate with overflowing gratitude even though there is a deep sadness in the human condition that goes back to the beginning of our origins, I feel powerful compassion instead of depressing sentiments a deep sense of belonging where time has no beginning or end; I know this world will rid itself of us stupid humans sooner than we would ever realise, the great time of the crossing is coming soon but people in my immediate environment think I’m a wacko mad as a cut snake even when I can debate anyone and whip their arse with clear logical perception; why is it that INFJ’s can understand and relate to almost anyone but far and few between others (It’s a rare thing) don’t understand or can relate with INFJ’s it leaves one feeling disconnected to humans but totally at one with Mother Earth and animals my best friend is my blue Russian cat, he’s so much more than a cat he taught me how to truely meditate, sorry for raving on must seem pretty out there but I’m one of the most grounded being firmly rooted into this magical planet; have no one else to communicate with thank you for your healing works you are a beautiful soul
I love your work, thank you so much!
Finally explained this opposition of possessing social graces and staying detached most of the time. I completely relate. After all my friendliness and laughter, i don’t keep any contact with people, don’t accept any invitations, used to appear as shy just because i didn’t make any try to mingle or shorten the distance myself.
Seems like i like to be the “invisible hand”, to help someone, and then disappear, without having to accept their gratitude (a hug, a drink, etc)
every. single. word. truth for me!
I’m an INFJ and 100% relate to all this. What a profound and insightful article! Now, if only everyone else understood how exhausting and challenging it is to be an INFJ in this world. 🙂 I had a wonderful boss once, whom I’m convinced is also INFJ. We just understood each other, often with very few words.
I am getting my life oh God I thought every one has that’s functions
This article is absolutely true. Thank you
Thank you Romela!!
Thank you Susan for this information that is so insightful and helpful to me! As an INFJ, it is so nice to be accurately understood! As I read the information, I keep thinking this describes me, I do this or that, and no wonder I feel the way I feel about things. Thank you for helping me to understand, why I need to have down time to process things, and why I feel drained after having a day with a lot of interaction with people. My work is in Social Sciences, so I work closely with children and families, and ensuring the children’s safety and well being! Sandra
Thank you for this. I am currently taking time out from my Church Ministry to reflect on myself and where i am going. I felt like I was losing my own sense of identity and no longer true to myself as I became involved almost every day with my fellow group members.
I know my elders don’t understand. Maybe a couple do. I always feel misunderstood, and yet I understand people perfectly well. It is an ongoing conflict.
I always take time off when I feel drained or overwhelmed. Thank you again for this article, it made me feel less understood.
I relate to this so much it hurts a little to realize why I can be so in tune with others while getting exhausted by them so easily. Thank you so much for this insightful article.
This is totally me. Thanks for helping me understand myself!
Thank you for this. I’m still learning more about my type and this really hit home. I felt like you were talking about me. I enjoy reading your articles and always look forward to the next ones. I just wish I could find a way to explain to those friends who may not understand my need to be alone and recharge.