How to Make a Lasting Impression on Each Myers-Briggs® Personality Type

We’ve all been there. You’re about to go on a date, a job interview, or a hangout with a new potential friend, and you find yourself suddenly worrying about your first impression. Will you make the properly timed joke or will you say something awkward and feel like digging yourself a hole to crawl in? In today’s article we’re taking a look at some of the most impactful ways to win over each of the 16 Myers-Briggs® personality types. Sure, you might not know someone’s personality type right away. But either way, I hope this article can help you out!

Want to figure out what your personality type is? Take our fun, in-depth personality questionnaire here. Or you can take the official Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI®) here.

How to Make a Lasting Impression On Myers-Briggs® Personality Type

The ESFP

If your aim is to win over an ESFP, show them that you can find the beauty in the mundane, the thrill in the ordinary, and the fun in the dreary. Show them that life with you isn’t just about surviving, but it’s about living. It’s about turning a simple grocery run into an adventure, a random Tuesday night into a impromptu dance party, or a boring night at home into a movie marathon complete with a hot cocoa bar!

But ESFPs aren’t just about fun. They want someone who is grounded in reality, who doesn’t think a laundry basket is a teleportation device. So remember to bring your practical side to the table too. But don’t be a wet blanket. ESFPs want to see that you have a sense of humor, not a sense of humor bypass. If ‘dad jokes’ are your thing, you’re probably safe. If you think humor is a type of flooring, you might want to reevaluate things.

The most important thing for an ESFP, though, is authenticity. They can spot a plastic flamingo in a flock of real ones from a mile away. Show them you are genuine, honest about your convictions and values, and not just trying to sell them the Brooklyn Bridge. Remember, the key to an ESFP’s heart is through a path of fun, honesty, and a dash of practicality.

• Join them on their adventures: ESFPs are all about living in the moment and embracing spontaneity. Their idea of a good time could range from a surprise road trip to an impromptu karaoke session. Be ready to embrace the unexpected.
• Share a joke or two: An ESFP loves a good laugh and appreciates someone who doesn’t take themselves too seriously. They appreciate humor in all its forms, so don’t be afraid to share that silly meme or crack a playful joke.
• Be authentic: ESFPs have a sixth sense for spotting pretense. So, be yourself, don’t put on a front, and express your true feelings and thoughts. Authenticity resonates deeply with them.
• Show practicality: While they love having fun, ESFPs appreciate practicality. Show them that you can balance the fun with responsibility when it counts.
• Respect their freedom: ESFPs cherish their independence and free spirit. Give them their space, respect their choices, and don’t try to control them.
• Show empathy: ESFPs are empathetic individuals who appreciate emotional connection. They value friends who can sympathize and share in their feelings.
• Be patient: ESFPs can be unpredictable. They may hop from one interest to another quickly. Show patience and try to understand their changing passions.
• Celebrate with them: Whether it’s a minor accomplishment or a major milestone, showing genuine excitement and cheering them on will win you big points with an ESFP.

Find out more about ESFPs: 24 Signs That You’re an ESFP Personality Type

The ESTP

Your first task in winning over an ESTP is to show your pragmatic side. If you can use duct tape to fix your car, your shoes, or your relationships, you’re already halfway to winning their heart. You see, ESTPs live their life like they’re perpetually in a Home Depot commercial. They always seem eager to fix, tweak, or repurpose just about anything.

But remember, just because you’re practical doesn’t mean you have to be dull. ESTPs appreciate the easy-going friends who can laugh at the absurdities of life and turn the mundane into a rollicking adventure. So if you can find fun and excitement in the everyday – from making breakfast into a cooking showdown to turning grocery shopping into a scavenger hunt – you’re on the right track with an ESTP.

You don’t have to be just like an ESTP to impress an ESTP, though. They love people who have their own independent ambitions and goals. So show them your business plans, your art projects, the novel you’re writing, or a musical piece you’re working on. Show them that you have passions, hobbies, and interests that light you up, and they’ll be more than happy to join in.

Lastly, don’t forget to throw in a dash of intellect. While ESTPs love hands-on practicality, they also appreciate someone who can offer a fresh perspective or a smart workaround to a problem. If you can prove that you have a fresh, logical take on a current event or a unique fix for a problem, you’ll have them hooked. Just remember not to get too philosophical. If you start discussing the existential implications of a flathead screwdriver, you’ve probably gone too far.

• Demonstrate pragmatism: Show that you’re not afraid to get your hands dirty and can make do with what’s available.
• Keep it light-hearted: ESTPs enjoy people who don’t stress over the small stuff and can keep the mood buoyant.
• Live in the moment: Embrace spontaneity and be ready to seize opportunities as they present themselves.
• Share practical tips: Offer advice that has real-world applications. Nothing woos an ESTP faster than a pro tip on how to grill the perfect steak.
• Offer a fresh perspective: Show that you’re not just practical, but also innovative. Surprise them with insights they haven’t considered before.
• Stay grounded: While a dash of intellect is appreciated, keep the conversations real and relatable.
• Inject Fun: Life with an ESTP is rarely boring. Try to inject a sense of play into everyday tasks. Whether you’re grocery shopping or doing house chores, find a way to make it fun – a little dance-off while dusting, perhaps?
• Be a risk-taker: Show your adventurous side. Go skydiving, try exotic cuisine, or simply take a new route home. ESTPs love people who are willing to step out of their comfort zones.
• Give Genuine Compliments: Compliment them on their practical skills and problem-solving abilities. ESTPs love compliments.

Find out more about ESTPs: 10 Reasons Why ESTPs Make Amazing Friends

The ISFP

ISFPs are like the cool indie album of the MBTI® world – they’re all about embracing the unique and the artistic. So, if you’ve got niche interests, don’t hide them. Turn up, proudly wearing your T-shirt of that obscure band you love, and let them geek out about their love for 17th-century wind instruments.

Remember, ISFPs are people who value individuality and march to the beat of their own drum. So respect that. Don’t try to make them join your conga line if they’d rather sit it out and sketch the scene. And definitely don’t smother them. Give them the space to be the free-spirited individuals they are.

ISFPs love sharing their interests with others. So, dust off your Netflix account and prepare for a marathon of their favorite shows. But don’t just sit there. Engage! Debate why you think Character X should not have dated Character Y. Make a wild guess about who the masked villain might be. Show that you’re invested in their interests, and they’ll be more than happy to dive into yours.

Finally, harness the power of the playlist. Music is often a key to an ISFP’s heart. So jam to their favorite tunes, share your own, and enjoy exploring the creative side of life together. You never know, you might just find a new favorite song!

• Embrace Authenticity: ISFPs appreciate people who are genuine. Discard the masks and show your real self.
• Show your quirks: Got any peculiar hobbies or interests? Show them off. Your passion for the unconventional might just be the ticket to an ISFP’s heart.
• Respect their individuality: Allow them the room to be themselves, without trying to change them or fit them into a box.
• Engage in their interests: Watch their favorite shows, listen to their favorite music, and show genuine interest in their hobbies.
• Give them space: ISFPs need their solitude. Understand and respect their need for alone time.
• Delve into the artistic: Whether it’s painting, music, or dance, show an appreciation for the arts. It’s a surefire way to an ISFP’s heart.
• Be Friendly and Warm: Show genuine openness and amiability. Smile, express yourselsf, and show interest in their lives. Warm gestures can go a long way in winning an ISFP’s heart.
• Sense of Humor: Lighten the mood with your wit and humor. ISFPs appreciate someone who can make them laugh and turn ordinary moments into fun memories.
• Practicality Matters: ISFPs are feelers, but they’re also realists. If you want to wander off into a hypothetical discussion, make sure it has a real-world application. Otherwise, they’ll probably tune out.

Find out more about ISFPs: How ISFPs Say “I Love You”

The ISTP

When it comes to winning over an ISTP, the secret is in being laid-back, realistic, and interested in exchanging ideas and friendly arguments. Show them you can bounce back and forth between the practical and the theoretical, all while maintaining a fresh, logical perspective.

Now, just because ISTPs are cool-headed and logical, this doesn’t mean they only like fellow cool-headed logical types. ISTPs aren’t exclusively looking for a Spock to their MacGyver. If you’re the kind of extroverted type whose friendliness could rival a golden retriever at a dog park, the ISTP might just find themselves basking in your radiating glow. Just remember, while they might enjoy your golden retriever-like friendliness, they’re not big fans of clinginess. They also need their space. So reel in that enthusiasm just right: Be friendly, but remember to respect their independence!

ISTPs also love to geek-out over their interests – whether it’s tearing down a motorcycle engine or knowing the difference between a Monarch and a Viceroy butterfly. So here’s a pro-tip: put on your listening ears and prepare to ask questions. Make sure you treat their dialogue like a precious vinyl record – no scratching or skipping tracks. Interrupting should be avoided at all costs; ISTPs are quiet people, so when they do try to talk, it’s a huge insult if they’re interrupted or ignored.

Finally, sprinkle in some well-timed compliments. A simple “I love how you explained that” or “You really know your stuff” will have them beaming (maybe only on the inside, but still).

• Give Them Their Space: ISTPs are like cats – they love their independence. So don’t hover around them like a helicopter parent. Give them room to breathe and they’ll appreciate you all the more for it.
• Honor Their Independence: Respect their need for autonomy. Don’t try to control them or make decisions on their behalf. ISTPs value their freedom and would rather make their own choices.
• Acknowledge Their Talents: Be sure to acknowledge their skills and talents. Whether they’ve just fixed the toaster or explained quantum physics, a little appreciation goes a long way.
• Ask Questions About Their Interests: Show a genuine interest in their hobbies and passions. Whether it’s motorbikes or butterflies, ask them about it. They’ll love the opportunity to share their knowledge with you.
• Don’t Beat Around The Bush: ISTPs prefer straight shooters. So be direct and honest in your communications. They’ll appreciate your authenticity and no-nonsense approach.
• Be Laid-back: ISTPs are easy-going individuals. Show them you can keep the drama to a minimum and they’ll probably want to hang out with you more.
• Have a Sense of Humor: Lighten the mood with a joke or two. ISTPs love a good laugh and appreciate those who don’t take life too seriously.

Find out more about ISTPs: 10 Things You Should Never Say to an ISTP

The ESFJ

The ESFJ cares deeply about other people and they expect you to do the same. They love people who put others first. If you’re the type to give up your seat for others or help an old lady cross the road, you’re on the right track. But if you’re the kind who tries to argue about the meaninglessness of religion at their church potluck, you might want to think twice.

Time is important to ESFJs, and by important, I mean super-duper, make-or-break, don’t-ever-be-late important. If you’re someone who thinks showing up ‘fashionably late’ is cool, it’s time for a reality check. For ESFJs, punctuality isn’t just a courtesy; it’s a testament to your character.

ESFJs are practical people. And as such, they love hearing about other people’s how-to tips. They value practical knowledge and love learning new skills. So if you know how to knit a sweater out of cat hair or fix a car with duct tape, you’ll get bonus points. Just be careful not to brag too much; ESFJs don’t appreciate showing off.

And let’s talk about tradition. ESFJs hold traditions dear. Respect for their traditions equals respect for them. So, if they invite you over for a traditional Thanksgiving meal, don’t show up with a pizza and suggest a change of plans.

But don’t forget to bring along your sense of humor. ESFJs love to laugh, especially at kind-hearted humor. So, if you can tell a joke that doesn’t make fun of someone else’s expense, you’ve got bonus points in the bag.

• Be considerate: Show a genuine concern for others. Simple acts of kindness like helping someone carry their groceries or listening to a friend’s problem can go a long way in impressing an ESFJ.
• Value punctuality: ESFJs respect people who respect their time. Always be punctual, whether it’s for a meeting, a date, or simply returning a phone call.
• Share practical knowledge: They love learning new things, especially if they’re practical. If you’ve just learned how to bake sourdough or have a knack for DIY crafts, share your wisdom.
• Respect tradition: ESFJs have a deep regard for customs and traditions. Honor their love for tradition by participating wholeheartedly.
• Maintain a sense of humor: Show that you can lighten the mood without being hurtful. ESFJs appreciate good, clean humor.
• Be modest: ESFJs appreciate humility. It’s alright to share your accomplishments, but avoid bragging or trying to be the center of attention.
• Show commitment: They appreciate reliability and commitment. If you commit to something, make sure you follow through.

The ESTJ

ESTJs are the epitome of ‘what you see is what you get’. They’re practical, honest to a fault and they value efficiency above all. So, if you’re the type who can get to the point without detouring through a long-winded anecdote about your second cousin’s pet hamster, you’re off to a wonderful start! Punctuality is as important to an ESTJ as a good cup of coffee in the morning, so don’t you dare be late. Remember, in ESTJ land, early is on time, on time is late, and late is unacceptable.

ESTJs love a good challenge and respect those who can hold their ground in a spirited debate. So, bring your A-game when discussing politics, sports, or even the final season of ‘Game of Thrones.’ But remember, friendly competition, not emotionally-laden conflict.

They deeply admire people who stick to their commitments and follow through their words with actions. Be the person who does what they say they will, and the ESTJ will respect you immensely.

ESTJs also enjoy those rare unicorns that can conjure unique perspectives and possibilities. Got an idea for a teleportation device that can get you to work in nanoseconds while also making your breakfast? Pitch it… succinctly. The “Back to the Future” fans they are, ESTJs admire innovative solutions, but they’re not here for a sci-fi saga. Don’t get lost in your imagination, we’re trying to innovate, not narrate the next Star Wars trilogy.

And if you’ve got passion, you’ve got an ESTJ’s attention. They respect people who stand by their beliefs with conviction. If you’re passionate about saving the rainforest, demonstrate it with your life choices! They’ll be impressed by your commitment to your values.

• Show Passion and Conviction: Stand by your beliefs and show genuine passion for your interests. An ESTJ will respect you for it.
• Be Resilient: Don’t take their blunt nature personally. It’s not about you, it’s about getting things done. So, if you can take constructive criticism in stride, you’re golden.
• Be Direct and Efficient: ESTJs value efficiency and to-the-point conversations. Ensure you articulate your points clearly, concisely, and without unnecessary digressions.
• Value their time: Punctuality is crucial for an ESTJ. Show them you respect their time by always being punctual.
• Engage in intellectual debates: They enjoy a good debate (when they’re not on a time-crunch). Be ready to engage in discussions about a wide range of topics.
• Follow Through on Commitments: Show them you are reliable. If you promise something, make sure to follow through.
• Don’t shy away from competition: Show your competitive side. ESTJs appreciate people who can turn a daunting task into a fun game.
• Show respect: Respect their values and beliefs. ESTJs appreciate it when their viewpoints are respected, even if not agreed upon.

Find out more about ESTJs: 24 Signs That You’re an ESTJ, the Captain Personality Type

The ISFJ

ISFJs, often referred to as ‘The Nurturers’, are the kind of people who still send handwritten thank-you notes. They’re the friends who not only remember your birthday, but also what you wore, what you ate, and who you were with on your birthday two years ago. They are the human equivalent of a warm hug on a cold winter’s night!

If you want to win over an ISFJ, you need to show that you care about the details that make their lives (or your own) satisfying and tranquil. These gentle types appreciate the little things, like remembering their favorite color or how they take their coffee. If you recall that they prefer their latte with a dash of caramel syrup and exactly 2 and a half ice cubes, you’re not just in the good books, you’re practically their personal hero! It’s like you’ve got their autobiography tattooed on your forehead, but in a non-creepy way.

ISFJs crave stability and routine. They are not the ‘spur-of-the-moment’ types. So, if you’re thinking of surprising them with a spontaneous road trip to Vegas, think again! You’re better off planning a quiet evening at home, watching their favorite movie, and ordering in their favorite food.

These types value harmony and avoid conflict like the plague. So, be kind and considerate of their feelings. If you must argue, be tactful and curious about their perspectives. If you want to score bonus points, show them that you can be reliable and dependable. Nothing makes an ISFJ happier than knowing they can count on someone.

And, here’s a pro tip: If you really want to impress an ISFJ, rehash some great memories you have together and find a way to make those into a tradition. ISFJs are sentimental creatures and will appreciate the effort you put into making a special day even more significant.

• Be Patient and Respectful: ISFJs take time to open up and trust people. Be patient with them, respect their boundaries, and they’ll come around.
• Remember the small things: Show that you’ve been paying attention by remembering their likes and dislikes.
• Be reliable: Show them that you can be counted on. Follow through on your promises.
• Respect their routine: Don’t spring surprises on them. They appreciate routine and predictability.
• Avoid Conflict: Respect their need for harmony and balance. Don’t be confrontational.
• Be punctual: Show respect for their time. Punctuality is a virtue to an ISFJ.
• Be a good listener: They appreciate someone who can lend an ear and show empathy.
• Be Curious: Show interest in the world around you. Engage them in stimulating conversations, share interesting facts, and discuss new ideas.
• Help with Problem-Solving: If they’re stuck on a problem, offer your help. They appreciate those who can provide a systematic and effective solution.

Find out more about ISFJs: ISFJs and Their Compatibility with Every Myers-Briggs® Personality Type

The ISTJ

ISTJs are the kind of people who would choose a calm evening by the fireplace with a good book over a loud party any day. They’re the types who would prefer to quietly observe and absorb, rather than partake in the chaos of a crowd. You might mistake them for a sophisticated AI living amongst us, because they have an insatiable thirst for knowledge and are always looking for ways to increase their efficiency.

ISTJs appreciate individuals who are pragmatic, who can engage in thorough discussions about the mechanics of things or exchange practical advice. To win over an ISTJ, you need to demonstrate that you value substance over style, and that you can appreciate a good, logical discussion about what’s going on in the world or how to optimize a system at work or at home. So, go ahead, share your foolproof method for organizing paperwork or your ingenious trick for making the perfect scrambled eggs. They’ll appreciate your practical, no-nonsense approach to life.

ISTJs also have a soft spot for quiet types who respect their space and share their love for tranquility. If you can enjoy a quiet evening with them, maybe diving into a Tolkien novel or jamming to their favorite lo-fi playlist, you’re already halfway there to winning their heart. But remember, don’t push them to be anything else but their amazing, reflective selves. They are like perfectly brewed tea. You don’t need to add anything else. It’s just right the way it is.

• Respect Their Privacy: ISTJs value their space. Give them the quiet they crave, and they’ll appreciate you.
• Be Authentic: Be real with them. Don’t try to be something you’re not. They appreciate authenticity and honesty.
• Share Your Knowledge: They love learning. Share interesting facts, practical tips, or efficient techniques with them.
• Enjoy the Quiet: Show them you can enjoy a quiet evening too. Discuss your favorite books, movies, or music.
• Don’t Push: Accept them for who they are. Don’t try to change them or push them to be something else.
• Be Reliable: Follow through on your commitments. ISTJs respect reliability.
• Be Calm: Avoid causing drama or chaos. They appreciate a peaceful environment.

You might also like: How You’d Survive (or Not) in a Horror Movie, Based On Your Myers-Briggs® Personality Type

The ENFP

When it comes to ENFPs, remember they are human idea factories, popping out concepts like a gumball machine on overdrive. They see a world of amazing possibilities where the rest of us see a boring old office meeting. If you want to win over an ENFP, get on board with their ‘anything-is-possible’ mentality. They appreciate someone who can keep up with their endless stream of ideas, whether it’s a plan to backpack across Europe, invent a new type of sandwich, or start a rock band with only didgeridoos.

But don’t mistake their enthusiasm for naivety. ENFPs are as real as it gets. They want you to be real with them, too. No need for sugar-coating or diplomatic double talk. They can handle the truth and expect you to dish it out. Just be careful not to trample on their values, or you might find yourself on the wrong end of an impassioned monologue about fairness and justice.

ENFPs also have a soft spot for the underdog. They’re the ones cheering loudest for the last runner in the marathon, the ones starting petitions for the rights of left-handed scissors, the ones who, yes, believe you can successfully start a rock band with only didgeridoos.

Here’s your cheat sheet for winning over an ENFP:

• Embrace their ideas: ENFPs love to brainstorm and come up with new concepts. Engage in their flights of fancy and contribute your own ideas to the mix.
• Explore the possibilities: Jump into the unknown with them. Even if it seems impossible, show enthusiasm in exploring the world of possibilities they present.
• Be real: ENFPs value authenticity. Be transparent, honest, and candid with them.
• Cherish their values: Respect their deep-seated values and stand alongside them when they fight for what’s right.
• Stand up for the underdog: Show them that you, too, understand the value in every individual and are willing to stand up for those who can’t do so themselves.
• Admire their adventurous spirit: Compliment them on their courage to venture into the unknown and their optimism towards life.
• Help them execute their ideas: ENFPs have a multitude of ideas but can sometimes struggle with follow-through. Offer your help to make their ideas a reality, but without being overbearing or controlling. They’ll appreciate your support.

Find out more about ENFPs: 10 Things You Should Never Say to an ENFP Personality Type

The ENTP

Meet the ENTPs, the personality type that finds intellectual stimulation more addictive than the free snack machine at Google. They’re always up for a good debate and love nothing more than a logical opponent who can intellectually spar with them. Trying to win over an ENTP? Don’t shy away from a hearty, well-reasoned argument. They won’t take it personally, promise! In fact, they’ll probably invite you to their weekly “Debate Club,” which is just them, a pot of coffee, and a whiteboard full of mind-maps.

When they’re not busy challenging Einstein’s theories, ENTPs find joy in exploring new ideas. Do you have a groundbreaking theory on why hustle culture is making people lazier rather than more effective? They’re all ears. They thrive on dissecting theories and uncovering hidden facets of the world. If you reveal a new perspective on a well-established model, they’ll probably name their first-born after you.

Remember, ENTPs have an insatiable curiosity that roams from one topic to another. To catch their attention, you need to match their pace, engage in their intellectual pursuits, and show curiosity about their out-of-the-box ideas (even if you don’t agree with them). One day they’re into astrophysics, the next they’re nurturing a sourdough starter. Keeps things interesting, right?

Here’s a little secret – ENTPs absolutely adore compliments. But not the generic “nice hair” kind. More like “Wow, your analysis of the effect of quantum gravity on black holes is mind-blowing!” kind. It might sound like sucking up, but trust us – they don’t really care.

Here’s your cheat sheet to win over an ENTP:

• Engage in debates: Show them you can hold your own in a discussion and enjoy a good logical debate.
• Appreciate their ideas: Value their original thoughts and eagerness to overturn established norms.
• Keep up with their curiosity: Be open to exploring many different topics and theories. Show them you’re as adaptable as they are.
• Give meaningful compliments: Compliment their intellectual abilities. They appreciate recognition for their unique insights.
• Laugh with them: Show your sense of humor, even if it’s not always PC. They love a good laugh in the midst of their intellectual pursuits.
• Encourage their explorations: Support their endeavors to explore new ideas and theories. They’ll value your encouragement and interest.

Discover more about ENTPs: 12 Amazing Fictional ENTP Characters

The INFP

Next up, we’ve got the INFPs, the dreamy idealists who could make a Hallmark card weep. They are the masters of authenticity and have a built-in lie detector that could put the FBI’s polygraph to shame. So, if you’re trying to impress one, don’t even try to fake it, because they’ll see right through it, faster than Superman spots Lois Lane in distress.

INFPs are always on the hunt for fresh ideas, so if you’ve got some juicy ones simmering in your mind, let ’em out! Better yet, if your ideas come attached with elves, wizards, superheroes, or interspecies alien love interests, you’ve hit the jackpot. After all, INFPs are the types who will camp out in the middle of winter just to be first in line for the new Lord of the Rings movie (or whatever fandom matches their interest). They love to engage their overactive imaginations. Just don’t rain on their parade. They don’t want to deal with mundane facts when in the thrall of a good narrative and they like it that way.

There’s nothing an INFP treasures more than someone who will geek out with them. They’ll talk your ear off about their favorite fictional characters, discuss lyrics of obscure indie songs, or spend hours dreaming up their latest novel. They appreciate friends who can dive deep into these discussions without judgment, and bonus points if you can add your own nerdy obsessions to the mix.

INFPs are also suckers for sentimental gestures. If you want to win one over, create a little routine that’s ‘just for the both of you’. Something as simple as sharing a cup of chamomile tea while watching the sunset, or biking through the countryside every Sunday afternoon could do the trick. They’ll see it as a comforting ritual, a safe haven carved out just for them in this crazy, chaotic world.

So, here’s the cheat sheet to win over an INFP:

• Be authentic: Don’t fake it; they’ll know. Be real with them and they’ll respect you for it.
• Engage their imagination: Discuss your wildest ideas and let them show you their world of imagination.
• Geek out together: Share your inner nerd. They’ll appreciate you for who you are, quirks and all.
• Respect their sentiments: Show them that you understand the depth of their feelings and respect their emotional intelligence.
• Invent fun rituals: Establish little routines just for the two of you. They’ll cherish these more than anything else.
• Appreciate their passions: Show enthusiasm for their interests, even if they seem a bit peculiar. This will make them feel valued and understood.
• Give them space: Respect their need for solitude and introspection. They’ll appreciate your understanding and will return to socializing when they’re ready.
• Be patient: INFPs may take a while to open up, but once they do, they are fiercely loyal. Give them time to trust, and you’ll have a friend for life.

Find out more about INFPs: How INFPs Say “I Love You”

The INTP

Time to talk about the INTPs, the walking, talking encyclopedias of the MBTI world. These types are always up for a good debate, and by ‘good debate’, I mean they’ll gladly argue for hours about why Frodo was the worst choice to be the ring-bearer, or why the new Star Wars trilogy is a disgrace to the original. (Disclaimer: You might actually wind up agreeing with them.) They enjoy exploring new ideas and picking at the flaws in logic until it’s as hole-ridden as a moth-eaten sweater.

Remember, INTPs are introverts – they need their privacy and autonomy. Burst into their space unannounced and you might get a frosty reception. But that doesn’t mean that INTPs don’t like people or need friendships! INTPs appreciate people who spark their curiosity and bring up thought-provoking ideas, and they also enjoy people who can bring warmth, acceptance, and a friendly, low-key vibe to the table.

The secret sauce to winning over an INTP? Curiosity, my friend. Ask questions about their latest obsession. Nod along as they rattle off facts about the migratory habits of blue-footed boobies. Listen, really listen to their thoughts and they’ll consider you to be an invaluable addition to their circle.

And now, here’s your cheat sheet to win over an INTP:

• Engage in debates: Show them you can hold your own in a discussion and appreciate a good logical debate.
• Respect their privacy: Provide them with the solitude they need. They’ll appreciate your understanding.
• Show warmth and acceptance: Be friendly and accepting, but keep things on a chill, low-key vibe.
• Ask questions and listen: Show genuine interest in their ideas, ask questions, and actually listen to their responses. No, seriously… listen.
• Be a friend: Demonstrate your friendship in tangible ways. Let them know that you value them and their friendship. It’s often hard for INTPs to gauge where they stand with people.
• Extend invitations: Invite them to social events, even if they don’t go. They appreciate the gesture, and it helps them feel included despite their natural inclination towards being a homebody.
• Respect their truth: They have a high esteem for truth and logic. Even if they come off as pedantic sometimes, respect their pursuit of truth and try not to take offense.
• Patient understanding: Understand that they can be meticulous in their quest for knowledge and facts. Don’t let this irritate you; instead, see it as a way they engage with the world.

Find out more about INTPs: How INTPs Say “I Love You”

The ENFJ

Want to know the secret to piquing an ENFJ’s interest? Easy – just have a vision. And I don’t mean a ‘I-just-saw-a-unicorn-in-my-dream’ kind of vision. I’m talking about a vision for humanity, a grand idea that you can stand for, some kind of “I have a dream” speech that you can deliver at a moment’s notice. That’s the kind of stuff that gets an ENFJ’s blood pumping.

With that in mind, try to avoid shallowness and minutiae around an ENFJ. They quickly bore of superficiality. They don’t just want to skim the surface of a topic; they want to dive in, explore its depths, and maybe even discover a new species of thought. If you’re the kind of person who can bring a fresh perspective to a discussion, who can dissect an idea from multiple angles, then congratulations – you’re ENFJ catnip.

But ENFJs aren’t only about grand visions and profound discussions; they’re also about the simple, human moments of connection. So, if you’re trying to win a spot in an ENFJ’s good books, don’t hold back from expressing your feelings. Let them know you care. Like, really care. Send them a text out of the blue just to say you appreciate them. Tell them they mean a lot to you. A warm hug, a friendly pat on the back, or even just a squeeze of the hand can mean the world to them. It’s a non-verbal way of saying, “I’m here for you,” and it’s a gesture they’re likely to reciprocate in kind.

But, perhaps most importantly, to win over an ENFJ, you need to show them that you put people first. ENFJs are driven by a desire to make the world a better place, one person at a time. If they see you doing the same, showing kindness and empathy to everyone around you, they’ll know they’ve found a kindred spirit.

So, here’s the cheat sheet to win over an ENFJ:

• Show Depth: Bring more to the table than what’s on the surface. Dive into the deep end of conversation and swim with the big ideas.
• Have a Vision: Have a cause or ideal you stand for. ENFJs appreciate those who can see the bigger picture.
• Display Backbone: Be willing to explore topics or perspectives without getting easily offended or defensive.
• Respect Humanity: Show that you value the human experience and the collective good. And remember, to an ENFJ, people always come before profit.
• Offer Fresh Perspectives: Bring new insights and don’t be afraid to shake things up a bit. ENFJs appreciate a fresh take on an old idea.
• Be Open to Discussion: Be willing to discuss different perspectives, even those that might seem odd to others. ENFJs thrive on open-minded dialogue.

Find out more about ENFJs: ENFJ Characters We Can’t Help But Love

The ENTJ

To catch an ENTJ’s attention, simply combine equal parts dreamer and doer. ENTJs appreciate individuals who not only have a vision but have the guts and the gumption to roll up their sleeves, get their hands dirty, and turn those dreams into reality. They don’t have time for people who sit around, waxing poetic about what they coulda, shoulda, woulda done.

You want to compel an ENTJ to get to know you better? Show them your conviction and drive. Show them you can think outside the box, but more importantly, show them you can actually do outside the box. ENTJs are not easily impressed by empty words or lofty promises. They want to see action, and they’re not interested in your 5-year plan if it doesn’t include steps you’re taking right now.

And here’s a pro tip: to keep an ENTJ interested long-term, be willing to engage in thought-provoking conversations that challenge your beliefs and assumptions. ENTJs have little patience for people who crumble like a cheap cookie under gentle intellectual pressure or those who retreat into willful ignorance or bias. They appreciate people who can stay cool while discussing hot topics, who can navigate the mighty ocean of big ideas without getting caught up in the seaweed of minutiae.

So, ready to win over an ENTJ? Here’s your cheat sheet:

• Have a Vision: ENTJs love people who see big pictures and have grand plans.
• Be a Doer, not just a Dreamer: Show them that you are someone who executes on your ideas, not just someone who talks a big game.
• Show Conviction: Demonstrate your drive and determination. ENTJs like strong, decisive people who aren’t afraid to take a stand.
• Engage in Intellectually Stimulating Conversations: ENTJs thrive on challenging discussions. Be someone who can spar intellectually without throwing in the towel at the first sign of disagreement.
• Avoid Minutiae: Don’t get bogged down by minor details. Keep your eyes on the big picture and your conversation at the 30,000-feet level.
• Think Outside the Box: Be innovative and creative. ENTJs appreciate individuals who can think beyond the conventional and the ordinary.

Find out more about ENTJs: 15 Times Tommy Shelby Exemplified the ENTJ Personality Type

The INFJ

Want to snag an INFJ? Get ready to dive deep – and I mean, Mariana Trench-level deep. INFJs aren’t interested in idle chitchats about the weather or who got voted off reality TV last night. No, they prefer to swim in the existential depths, pondering life’s big questions like, “Why are we here?” and “What does it all mean?” and “Do we seek lifelong mates because we’re really trying to avoid thinking about death?”

In the world of INFJs, nothing is ever just on the surface. They crave conversations that are filled with depth, meaning, and a healthy dose of introspection. So, if you’re willing to go on a Inception-like journey of discovery and philosophical intrigue, you’ve got a good chance of finding a place in an INFJ’s heart.

But wait, there’s more! INFJs are also suckers for genuine warmth and compassion. If you’re the type who’d stop in the middle of a busy day to make a hot meal for an elderly neighbor, or the kind who remembers a friend’s birthday (and even sends a present), then you’re definitely INFJ material. They love people who not only care about others but show it in their actions. They value those who respect the uniqueness of each individual and cherish the differences that make us all wonderfully human.

So to captivate the heart of an INFJ, you need to show them that you’re not just a surface-scraping, self-absorbed person. You need to demonstrate that you’re someone who appreciates the depth of human experience, relishes in the search for meaning, and genuinely cares about others. If you can do that, then congratulations, you’ve just found the secret to the INFJ’s heart.

Here’s the cheat sheet for winning an INFJ:

• Dive Deep: Be prepared to explore the depths of the human experience and ponder life’s big questions.
• Show Genuine Warmth: Show them that you’re someone who cares about others and is willing to show it.
• Appreciate Uniqueness: Each individual is unique. Show them you appreciate these differences.
• Search For Meaning: Be someone who not only seeks meaning, but also enjoys discussing and exploring it with others.
• Value Others: Show them you respect and value the thoughts and feelings of others. This is a key to unlocking an INFJ’s heart.
• Be Intellectually Curious: INFJs adore those who not only enjoy learning but seek knowledge for its own sake. Show them you’re willing to explore new ideas and challenge your current beliefs.
• Express Empathy: INFJs are deeply empathetic, and they appreciate others who can understand and respond to the feelings of those around them. Be someone who seeks to understand before seeking to be understood.

Find out more about INFJs: Your INFJ Personality Type and Your Enneagram Type

The INTJ

Ah, the elusive INTJ, the personality type that’s as rare as a solar eclipse and similarly captivating. They want friends with big ideas, but make sure those ideas are not like the fluff-filled pillows you find at a home goods store. They prefer solid, logically-grounded ideas, the kind you can build an empire with, not the ones that dissolve into thin air when faced with the barest hint of scrutiny.

An INTJ’s mind is a dynamic dance of thoughts and theories, and they love sharing the floor with people who can keep up with their intellectual curiosity. Yet, they also need some alone time to mull over those deep thoughts and ideas without being rushed. So, if you are the type that needs immediate feedback and will send a text with a single, passive-aggressive question mark if you don’t get it promptly, then an INTJ might not be the best match for you.

INTJs respect autonomy and have little patience for unnecessary drama, so if you’re the type that thrives on daytime soap opera-level theatrics, you might find yourself facing an INTJ’s chilling frost rather than their warm fire. They appreciate maturity, not in the sense of owning a Roth IRA or enjoying prune juice, but in the sense of understanding who you are and what you bring to the table and being able to handle disagreement or different perspectives.

They are looking for people who have the resilience of a cockroach in a nuclear blast but with slightly more charisma. People with goals, who live with conviction and want to get to know the INTJ beyond their resumes and intellect. So, if you can see the INTJ for who they really are, not just what they do, and you can deliver this with a mix of intellectual insight and personal depth, then you might just have what it takes to win the heart of an INTJ.

Here’s your cheat sheet to win over an INTJ:

• Be Thoughtful: Share your deep thoughts but give them time to ponder and process.
• Respect Their Autonomy: Understand that they value their personal space and respect it.
• Avoid Drama: Leave the theatrics for the stage. INTJs appreciate calm, thoughtful interactions.
• Show Maturity: Demonstrate that you can handle disagreements and different perspectives with grace and maturity.
• Have Goals: INTJs admire those who have a clear direction in life and are actively pursuing their goals.
• See Beyond the Surface: Don’t just focus on what they do, but see them for who they truly are beyond labels and accomplishments.:
• Have Conviction: Show them that you live with purpose and determination.
• Champion Big Ideas: Embrace and share innovative and impactful ideas.
• Demonstrate Resilience: Show them that you can withstand adversity and bounce back from setbacks.

Find out more about INTJs: The Underrated Kindness of the INTJ Personality Type

What Are Your Thoughts?

We’d love to hear your thoughts on this! What impresses you most in others? Do these tips and tricks resonate with your experiences? Let’s keep the conversation going in the comments section below.

If you’re intrigued by what you’ve read and want to dive deeper into the fascinating world of personality types, I invite you to check out my eBooks: Discovering You: Unlocking the Power of Personality Type, The INFJ – Understanding the Mystic, The INTJ – Understanding the Strategist, and The INFP – Understanding the Dreamer. These books are your guided tour into the intricate, richly textured landscape of the human psyche. You can also connect with me via Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter!

References:

MBTI® Manual – A Guide to the Development and Use of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator® Instrument by Isabel Briggs -Myers, Mary H. McCaulley, Naomi L. Quenk, and Allen L. Hammer (CPP, Inc. 2003)

The Art of Speed Reading People by Paul D. Tieger & Barbara Barron-Tieger (Little, Brown and Company, 1998)

Understanding Yourself and Others™: An Introduction to Interaction Styles 2.0 by Linda V. Berens (InterStrength, 2008)