The 5 Things You Crave in a Friendship, Based On Your Myers-Briggs® Personality Type

What are the qualities you wish for in a friend? Does your personality type have anything to do with it? Last week we explored the top things each of the types brings to a friendship, but what do they want in return? I was itching to see if people wanted the same things they bring to a friendship from a friend, or if they’d look for people who were stronger in other areas. Let’s dig into the data to find out!

Not sure what your personality type is? Take our new personality questionnaire here. Or you can take the official MBTI® here.

But first, the demographics:

5,023 people so far have filled out our ‘Friendship Survey.’ Of those people, 77.34% have been female, 20.76% have been male, 1.01% have been non-binary, and 0.89% chose not to answer.

The Options:

Individuals who took the survey were encouraged to select two to three of the most important characteristics they looked for in a friendship. They could choose from the following traits:

• Loyalty
• Fun
• Humor
• Adventure
• Good listening skills
• Empathy
• Guidance and advice
• Insights
• Helpfulness
• Practical support
• Trustworthiness
• Honesty
• No judgment
• Respect
• Dependability
• Generosity
• Patience
• Boundaries
• Positivity
• Forgiveness
• Other

With all that in mind, let’s get to the fun part!

Here Are the 5 Things You Look for in a Friend, Based On Your Myers-Briggs® Personality Type

Estimated reading time: 22 minutes

The ENTP Trailblazer

No. 1: Trustworthiness No. 2: Humor No. 3: Loyalty No. 4: Honesty No. 5: Fun

Categories with the least votes: Guidance & Advice, Patience, Helpfulness, Generosity

For ENTPs, trustworthiness came in #1 as the most in-demand friendship requirement. Known for their radical honesty, it’s no surprise that trustworthiness and honesty both made the top 5 (Trustworthiness in 1^st and Honesty in 4th). If you want to stay on an ENTP’s good side, don’t sugarcoat, manipulate, lie, or bend the truth. Trust me. It’ll turn your blossoming friendship into a black hole of either non-communication or casual annoyance.

In 2^nd place was humor. If you can’t take a joke you may want to work on that because ENTPs will find the funny, offbeat, and randomly hilarious in nearly any situation. Their ability to form connections and see quirky relationships shows up in sidesplitting (and sometimes irreverent) ways.

In 3^rd place for ENTPs was loyalty. Yeah, ENTPs may not show up exactly on time, they may not have a lot of respect for authority or rules, but they sure as heck will stand by their friends. Honesty took 4^th place for ENTPs. If you’re not going to tell the truth even when it’s hard, don’t even bother trying to get close to an ENTP. One of the biggest turn-offs for them in a friendship or relationship is being lied to or manipulated. And fun came in 5^th place. Adventurous and optimistic, ENTPs like to look for the possibility in any situation and they find it nearly impossible to commit to anything that doesn’t at least have an element of fun.

The ENFP Visionary

No. 1: Loyalty No. 2: Empathy No. 3: No Judgment No. 4: Humor No. 5: Positivity

Categories with the least votes: Generosity, practical support, patience, guidance and advice.

For The Visionaries, the most important thing of all was Loyalty. This is the foundation from which all other joys of friendship grow. Without it, all the other talents and gifts and opportunities mean nothing. Second was Empathy; the ability to put yourself in another’s shoes and imagine how they’re feeling and relate to them. This is something ENFPs excel at and something they hope to receive in a friendship.

In 3^rd place for ENFPs was “No Judgment.” Open-minded and curious, ENFPs enjoy learning about people from all walks of life; even if they don’t agree. They hope for the same in a friend; someone who will let them be authentic and real without moving to a judgment call before understanding.

Arriving in 4th was “Humor.” With people like Robin Williams, George Carlin, and Sandra Bullock in their ranks, it’s no surprise that a sense of humor ranked so highly for ENFPs. If you don’t know how to laugh at the absurdity of life or find humor in the rough patches, you might find yourself out of place with an ENFP. And lastly, ENFPs chose “Positivity.” Visionaries know how to see past the murkiness of the present moment to possibilities that could exist in the future. Finding the silver lining, seeing a window when everyone else is looking at closed doors; these are all the talents that ENFPs bring to the picture.

Discover more about ENFPs: How to Communicate Effectively with an ENFP

The INFP Dreamer

No. 1: Loyalty No. 2: No Judgment No. 3: Empathy No. 4: Trustworthiness No. 5: Respect

Categories with the least votes: Insights, generosity, guidance and advice, boundaries.

The world can sometimes feel like a reality show you didn’t sign up for, and for INFPs, loyalty in a friendship keeps things from going too far off the rails. This is the bedrock from which the friendship can grow and blossom. Coming in at a close second was “No Judgment.” INFPs believe in fully listening to someone’s perspective with an open mind and curiosity rather than leaping in to make critiques or judgments. It’s crucial for them to find the same quality in a friend.

Next on the list is empathy. Being able to put themselves in another person’s shoes and understand where they’re coming from is key. When an INFP comes to a friend with a problem, they don’t immediately want a bunch of ‘how to’s’ and advice. They want to feel seen, heard, and related to. Trustworthiness follows closely behind,. If you’re not able to keep other’s secrets close (like a good INFP hoarding their journal), you might as well wave goodbye to that budding friendship.

Rounding out their top five is respect—a non-negotiable in the INFP playbook. This means listening to their ideas and dreams without waving them off as ‘unrealistic’, and seeing their sensitivity as a strength rather than something to be overcome.

Discover more about INFPs: 10 Things You Crave Every Day as an INFP

The INTP Prodigy

No. 1: Honesty No. 2: Trustworthiness No. 3: Loyalty No. 4: Respect No. 5: Humor

Categories with the least votes: Helpfulness, adventure, patience, generosity

For INTPs, honesty takes the crown as the ultimate friendship essential. If you have a penchant for sugarcoating or dodging the truth, you might as well be talking to a wall because INTPs thrive on intellectual authenticity. Trustworthiness zooms in at a close second; these intellectual beings want a friend who follows through on their word and doesn’t manipulate or coerce.

Next, we veer into loyalty. Sure, INTPs might get wrapped up in their thoughts, occasionally disappearing into the depths of a data analysis rabbit hole, but when they commit, they’re not jumping ship at the first sign of turbulence. Respect is another cornerstone; they appreciate a companion who values their ideas and respects their space, autonomy, and freedom.

And lastly, let’s not forget humor. While they enjoy diving deep into philosophical discussions, INTPs also have a dry wit that can catch you off guard in the best possible way. If you can seamlessly blend intellect with a dash of banter, you’re likely to win a special place in the heart of your INTP friend!

Discover more about INTPs: 24 Signs That You’re an INTP, the Prodigy Personality Type

The ESTP Daredevil

No. 1: Loyalty No. 2: Humor No. 3: Adventure No. 4: Respect No. 5: Dependability

Categories with the least votes: Generosity, insights, guidance and advice, forgiveness

For the ESTP, loyalty is the ingredient that transforms a good friend into a lifelong wingman. When push comes to shove, ESTPs are the ones who will have your back, ready to dive into the fray with you. Coming in at second place is humor; if you can’t crack a joke or roll with the punches, you might want to rethink your approach because ESTPs can find a way to make any situation funny, even at some inopportune times.

Adventure takes the third spot—ESTPs aren’t called “Daredevils” for nothing. Whether it’s skydiving or a last-minute road trip, ESTPs are happiest when a new, thrilling excursion is on the horizon. Following closely behind is respect; they appreciate friends who honor their opinions and perspective without trying to change them or impose their views. Finally, we have dependability rounding out the top five. ESTPs tend to be spontaneous and impulsive, but they will also be there when the going gets tough. They value friends they can count on when life gets a little dicey.

The ESFP Champion

No. 1: Honesty No. 2: Loyalty No. 3: Fun No. 4: Humor No. 5: Respect

Categories with the least votes: Patience, generosity, practical support, guidance and advice

For the ESFP, honesty is the number one rule in the friendship handbook. They’ve got little patience for half-truths or vague answers—give it to them straight, or they’ll quickly lose patience. Closely following honesty is loyalty; this means sticking up for them when others are against them, hearing their side without judgment, and being there even when they’re not the “fun” friend. Speaking of which…

Next up is fun, and it’s not just any kind of fun—it’s the kind that leaves you breathless, laughing, and perhaps a tad bewildered. I was at a trampoline park last week with an ESFP and she convinced me to slide down this steep, three-story slide that hurls you out in the air over a giant foam block. I would never have done this otherwise, but when an ESFP asks you to do something you’d ordinarily not dream of doing, you just can’t help but feel compelled to oblige. If you’re not breaking into a spontaneous dance or trying out weird food combinations, what are you even doing?

Humor swoops in at a close fourth; ESFPs believe life is too short to take seriously, so be prepared to laugh with humor that draws out the absurdity and hilarity of everyday life experiences.

Rounding out their top five is respect, because without that, how can a friendship truly thrive? Some people try to befriend an ESFP because they see them as fun, exciting, and hilarious. But underneath all that, they also limit them to those things, seeing that as all they are. Instead, ESFPs need a friend who respects their point of view, listens when they have knowledge to share, and sees them as more than mere entertainment.

The ISFP Virtuoso

No. 1: Empathy No. 2: Honesty No. 3: Loyalty No. 4: Fun No. 5: No Judgment

Categories with the least votes: Generosity, patience, helpfulness, insights

When it comes to friendships, ISFPs lead with their hearts, and empathy is at the top of their must-have list. Following closely is honesty—ISFPs have a keen sense for sniffing out disingenuous vibes, so save the fluff for someone else. They appreciate a friend who speaks their truth.

Loyalty comes in third. When they invest in a friendship, they want to know you’re all in—this coincides with the honesty bit. If you seem like the kind of person who is nice to someone’s face but talks badly about them behind their back, they will avoid you at all costs.

Next up is fun! Whether it’s an impromptu art night or an adventurous road trip, these virtuosos adore spontaneous experiences that make them feel inspired, alive, and connected with the moment and all it has to offer.

And rounding out their top five is a big one: no judgment. ISFPs need a safe space where they can express themselves without fear of criticism or ridicule. They appreciate friends who will accept their quirks and celebrate their uniqueness. This doesn’t mean they can never take advice if they’re making the wrong decisions; but input without judgment is key.

Find out more about ISFPs: The Childhood Struggles of ISFPs

The ISTP Vigilante

No. 1: Loyalty No. 2: Honesty No. 3: Humor No. 4: Trustworthiness No. 5: Dependability

Categories with the least votes: Generosity, helpfulness, forgiveness, positivity

When it comes to ISTPs, loyalty is like the oil that keeps their friendship engine running smoothly. They’re not just looking for friends; they’re seeking sidekicks who will stick around through thick and thin, ready to tackle any challenge—or spontaneous motorcycle trip—that comes their way. Second is honesty. ISTPs appreciate a no-nonsense approach; they want friends who will tell it like it is, minus the sugarcoating.

Next up is humor, being able to laugh when life is chaotic and messy. With their dry wit and penchant for clever quips, they’re always ready to chuckle at the absurdities of life! Trustworthiness comes in at a close fourth; an ISTP thrives on knowing that their friends have their backs. Sneaky moves and backstabbing antics? No, thank you.

Finally, we wrap up with dependability, which really coincides with loyalty, honesty, and trustworthiness. This means following through on your promises, showing up when it matters, and “walking the talk” and being honest.

Discover more about ISTPs: What ISTPs Do When They’re Really Stressed Out

The ENTJ Director

No. 1: Insights No. 2: Trustworthiness No. 3: Dependability No. 4: Humor No. 5: Good Listening Skills

Categories with the least votes: Adventure, boundaries, no judgment, generosity

Insights were the #1 most important thing in a friendship for ENTJs. They’re not just interested in small talk or surface-level chit-chat, they want your insights and perspectives on deeper subject matter. Trustworthiness comes in at a close second—without a solid foundation of trust, ENTJs won’t waste their time. They prefer friendships built on transparency, so be authentic and real with an ENTJ. People who seem like they’re hiding something or sugarcoating tend to be avoided.

Dependability is third on their friendship wish list. Show up when you say you will, say what you mean and mean what you say, adhere to the values you say you believe in. Hypocrisy and two-faced behavior are a major turn-off for these Directors.

Humor comes in at fourth place. With their sharp wit and talent for sarcasm, ENTJs know how to crack a joke at just the right time—just be prepared for the occasional playful roast. Finally, they appreciate good listening skills. An ENTJ might lead the charge, but they know that effective communication is a two-way street. They value friends who can actively listen and contribute to the dialogue rather than dominating the entire conversation with monologues.

The ENFJ Mentor

No. 1: Empathy No. 2: Loyalty No. 3: Dependability No. 4: Good Listening Skills No. 5: Honesty

Categories with the least votes: Generosity, adventure, practical support, guidance and advice

Coming in at #1 for ENFJs is empathy—Mentors excel at picking up on feelings and connecting with others on a deep level. A friend who can do the same, who can try to understand their perspective, is crucial. They want friends who can not only share the happy moments but also dive into the more serious stuff when life gets a bit heavy. Loyalty is their next top priority; if you’re in, you’re in for the long haul. Don’t be surprised if an ENFJ goes to bat for you when the chips are down—they take loyalty seriously.

Coming in at third is dependability. ENFJs appreciate friends who show up, whether it’s for spontaneous adventures or when they need a shoulder to lean on. And let’s not forget about good listening skills; they’re not just there to talk at you! ENFJs want friends who can engage, reflect, and contribute to the heart-to-heart sessions that they love so much. Finally, honesty rounds out their list; they’ll take the truth—even when it’s a little uncomfortable—over meaningless drivel any day.

The INTJ Strategist

No. 1: Loyalty No. 2: Trustworthiness No. 3: Honesty No. 4: Respect No. 5: Dependability

Categories with the least votes: Generosity, helpfulness, guidance and advice, adventure

At the very top of the INTJ’s list is loyalty; for INTJs, a friend isn’t just a temporary project—they want long-term companions who will stick by through intellectual debates, rare emotional moments, and big life changes. Following closely is trustworthiness; they crave friends who keep their word and show up when they say they will (preferably on time).

Honesty comes in at a solid third. An INTJ has a radar finely tuned to detect falsehoods, so don’t try to deceive them or beat around the bush—be authentic! If you’re genuine, they’ll appreciate you all the more. Next is respect; INTJs need to know their ideas are valued and their perspectives taken seriously. They get really excited about a deep discussions, so don’t be afraid to leave the shallow end of the topic pool! Finally, rounding off the top five is dependability—if you say you’ll be there, be there. INTJs respect those who follow through, because in their world, actions speak louder than words.

Find out more about INTJs: What It’s Like Being an INTJ Woman

The INFJ Mystic

No. 1: Trustworthiness No. 2: Loyalty No. 3: Empathy No. 4: Honesty No. 5: No Judgment

Categories with the least votes: Adventure, helpfulness, guidance and advice, practical support

For INFJs, trustworthiness is the golden ticket—say what you mean and mean what you say. Even if it’s awkward at times, the truth will always sit better with an INFJ than a pleasing lie. Next up is loyalty; Mystics appreciate friends who aren’t just there for the highlight reel but are also willing to stand by them during the plot twists and low moments.

Empathy comes in third. Often known as empaths, INFJs have a unique ability to absorb others’ emotions and tune into them on a deeper level than most. When they have a friend they hope for someone who can get into their shoes as well. Bonus points if you can rephrase their feelings back to them to make sure you understand before jumping in with advice. In fourth place is honesty; INFJs are on the lookout for friends who speak the truth with gentleness; who don’t suck-up, manipulate, or bend the truth to get ahead.

Finally, they need a no-judgment zone; a place where they can share their insights and ideas without fear of being dismissed or scorned. A place where they can dive into deeper subjects and admit faults or weaknesses without being written off or seen as too “out there.”

Discover more about INFJs: 10 Things You Crave Every Day as an INFJ Personality Type

The ESTJ Captain

No. 1: Trustworthiness No. 2: Loyalty No. 3: Honesty No. 4: Dependability No. 5: Humor

Categories with the least votes: Patience, insights, empathy, adventure

For ESTJs, trustworthiness is always #1—they’re not here for drama or hidden agendas. They want a friend who’s as solid as a rock and won’t go sneaking behind their back. Loyalty is next on the list; they’re the type who’ll rally the troops for you in your hour of need, and they expect the same unwavering support in return. Moving on to honesty, ESTJs value frankness—don’t beat around the bush or sugarcoat things; they’ll appreciate you more if you tell it like it is.

Dependability, of course, is a must. If you say you’ll be there, then be there—no excuses! ESTJs run a tight ship, and they have little patience for flakiness. Lastly, humor is the icing on the cake; they appreciate a good laugh and won’t hesitate to toss around some playful banter. So, if you can dish it out and take it, you’re in their good books.

Discover more about ESTJs: 10 Things You Crave Every Day as an ESTJ Personality Type

The ESFJ Defender

No. 1: Honesty No. 2: Dependability No. 3: Loyalty No. 4: Fun No. 5: Humor

Categories with the least votes: Generosity, insights, patience, adventure

When it comes to friendships, ESFJs hold honesty in the highest regard—they like friendships where they know they can 100% trust what’s being said. That said, they like the truth delivered with tact and empathy. “Brutal honesty” that is more about being brutal than being honest is not welcome.

Following closely is dependability; ESFJs are happiest when they have a reliable support system, so if you say you’ll be there, you better believe they’re counting on it! Loyalty is next on their list—they want to know that you’ll be there when they’re hosting a holiday party or overcoming a heartbreak and need a shoulder to cry on.

But it’s not all serious discussions and late-night talks; ESFJs have a heart for fun! They want friends who can host game nights, meet up for popcorn and a movie, or just laugh about the absurd situations in their day. That brings us to humor; a good laugh is the secret ingredient to any ESFJ friendship. Show off your quirky side, your ‘dad jokes’, or your dry wit, but just know when to pause and get serious too. Someone who turns everything into a joke may become wearying to an ESFJ. “Reading the room” is always helpful.

Find out more about ESFJs: 24 Signs That You’re an ESFJ, the Defender Personality Type

The ISTJ Detective

No. 1: Loyalty No. 2: Trustworthiness No. 3: Honesty No. 4: Good Listening Skills No. 5: Dependability

Categories with the least votes: Generosity, patience, positivity, adventure

For ISTJs, loyalty is paramount; without it, what is the point? They appreciate friends who stick around through thick and thin, and don’t flinch when life gets a little rocky. Trustworthiness follows closely behind; they’re not into drama or surprises. If you make a promise, you better deliver—those broken assurances might just lead to a friendship audit!

Now, let’s talk honesty. ISTJs have a zero-tolerance policy for lies and half-truths; they prefer straightforward conversations and authenticity. If you have something to say, they’d rather hear it directly, even if it might ruffle some feathers. Good listening skills come in at a solid fourth; they value friends who actually hear what they’re saying and can engage in thoughtful dialogue without starting a monologue of their own. And finally, dependability rounds out their top five. If you say you’re going to show up, be there like they expect—you might just get a special handshake for your reliability. And be on time if you can! Nothing gets on an ISTJ’s nerves like someone who consistently shows up late.

Find out more about ISTJs: The ISTJ Leader

The ISFJ Protector

No. 1: Loyalty No. 2: Empathy No. 3: No Judgment No. 4: Trustworthiness No. 5: Honesty

Categories with the least votes: Generosity, guidance and advice, adventure, boundaries

For ISFJs, loyalty is the Holy Grail of friendship—they want to know you’re in it for the long haul. They cherish friends who won’t ghost them the moment life gets a bit hectic; these Protectors stand by their people like sentinels guarding a castle! Next up is empathy; ISFJs are like emotional sponges, soaking up and empathizing with the feelings of those around them. They’re the ones who will always know when you need a shoulder to cry on or someone to celebrate your little victories. They hope to find the same in a friend.

A key feature of the ISFJ friendship is that sweet, sweet no-judgment zone. They don’t want to feel like they’re being scrutinized with a magnifying glass; rather, they appreciate friends who’ll let them show their often guarded quirky side without raising an eyebrow. Trustworthiness comes next—no sneaky backstabbing or vague promises here! Honesty is essential for an ISFJ; they want those real conversations, but delivered with gentleness to ensure no feelings are trampled upon.

Discover more about ISFJs: 10 Things You Crave Every Day as an ISFJ Personality Type

What Are Your Thoughts?

Do you relate to the five picks for your personality type? Are there other qualities you’d deem more important? Let us and other readers know in the comments!

Discover even more about your personality type in our eBooks, Discovering You: Unlocking the Power of Personality Type,  The INFJ – Understanding the Mystic, The INTJ – Understanding the Strategist, and The INFP – Understanding the Dreamer. You can also connect with me via Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter!