The Most to Least Assertive Enneagram Types, Ranked

Have you ever wondered why some people seem to have no trouble standing up for themselves while others hesitate, overthink, or avoid it altogether? Itโ€™s not just about confidence or life experienceโ€”our personalities play a huge role. As an Enneagram coach, Iโ€™ve seen this firsthand in conversations with clients. Some types approach conflict or assertiveness like itโ€™s second nature, while others struggle, torn between their values and the fear of rocking the boat.

Recently, I decided to dig deeper into this. I ran a survey with my email list, followers, and clientsโ€”over 80,000 people totalโ€”and one of the questions I asked was โ€œIs it easy for you to stand up for yourself?โ€ The responses were fascinating. Almost 1,000 people replied, and the results told a story about how personality shapes our ability to self-advocate. Some of the numbers were exactly what I expected; others, honestly, shocked me.

Discover the most to least assertive Enneagram types, ranked based on a recent survey of over 900 individuals. #Enneagram

By the way, if you’d like to take the survey you can do so here.

Hereโ€™s a quick peek: Type 8s overwhelmingly said yesโ€”nearly 98% of them find it easy to stand up for themselves. Meanwhile, only 10% of Type 4s felt the same way. That gap made me pause. Why is there such a dramatic difference? Whatโ€™s happening under the surface for each type that makes standing up for yourself either effortless or almost impossible?

In this article, weโ€™re going to dive into those questions. Iโ€™ll break down the data, explore the motivations and fears behind the numbers, and give you practical insights to take awayโ€”whether youโ€™re a natural self-advocate or someone who struggles to find their voice. This isnโ€™t just about Enneagram theory; itโ€™s about understanding yourself (and maybe the people in your life) a little better.

So letโ€™s get started!

A graph showing the assertiveness levels of each Enneagram type, based on the question "Do you find it easy to stand up for yourself?"

Not sure what your Enneagram type is? You can find out by taking our questionnaire.

Enneagram and Assertiveness: Who Finds It Easy (and Who Doesnโ€™t)?

#1 – Enneagram 8

97.86% of Enneagram 8s said that it was easy for them to stand up for themselves, making them the most assertive Enneagram type. If Eights had a theme song, it would probably be โ€œMy Wayโ€ by Frank Sinatra. Their biggest fear is being controlled or betrayed, and their biggest desire is to protect themselves and have control over their own lives. This means they approach life with a fierce drive to stay independent and in charge. When an Eight speaks up, itโ€™s not in a quiet, meek wayโ€”itโ€™s clear, direct, and sometimes intimidating.

I grew up with an Eight who showed this assertiveness every day. If anyone so much as hinted at trying to control him, heโ€™d reactโ€”fast and hard. One time, a teacher tried to enforce a rule he thought was ridiculous, and his response was basically, โ€œMake me.โ€ He didnโ€™t back down, even when it meant detention. For him, standing up for himself wasnโ€™t optional; it was survival. But Iโ€™ve also known Eights who used that same boldness to protect others. One Eight I worked with became an advocate for domestic violence survivors, speaking up for them when they felt powerless. Another volunteered at a shelter, handing out meals and Christmas gifts as a way to bless those less fortunate than himself.

Eights will fight for themselves when they feel their independence or values are threatened. Theyโ€™re not ones to let someone dictate their choices or undermine their authority. As one Eight put it in the survey, โ€œIโ€™ll respect othersโ€™ boundaries as long as they respect mine. But the second someone tries to dominate me, I make it clear theyโ€™re out of line.โ€

Of course, Eights have their blind spots, too. When theyโ€™re unhealthy, they can become overly controlling or intimidating, seeing vulnerability as weakness. Their โ€œwallsโ€ can keep people at a distance, even when they actually crave connection and nurturing. But when theyโ€™re in a healthy place, they use their assertiveness to protect and empower not just themselves but the people they care about

Find out more about Eights: Seven Struggles of the Enneagram Eight Type

#2-  Enneagram 7

90.91% of Sevens said that it was easy for them to stand up for themselves, making them the #2 most assertive Enneagram type.  If Sevens had a theme song it would probably be โ€œI Wanna Break Freeโ€ by Queen. Their biggest fear is being trapped or in pain, and their biggest desire is freedom and happiness. This means that theyโ€™ll do what it takes to avoid boredom, stagnation, or responsibilities that seem soul-draining.  So when a Seven speaks up, itโ€™s often about dodging anything that feels confiningโ€”and honestly, itโ€™s impressive how good they are at it.

I know one Seven who is an absolute pro at this. Conflict isnโ€™t really his thing unless someone flat-out disrespects him. But duties he doesnโ€™t want to deal with? Those donโ€™t stand a chance. Heโ€™ll flash his signature grin and come up with an excuse so smooth, youโ€™ll find yourself agreeing before thinking, โ€œWait, but why?โ€ Meetings, obligations, you name itโ€”if it bores him, heโ€™s out.

He will stand up for himself if he feels like someone is backing him into a corner or pressuring him to do something he doesnโ€™t want to do. Anything that gets in the way of that core desire (happiness, freedom) is anathema to him.

โ€œI wonโ€™t let anyone control or micro-manage me,โ€ one Seven respondent said in the survey comments, โ€œI can take care of myself, but I know how to be nice about it.โ€

Of course, Sevens can have their blind spots. When theyโ€™re unhealthy they may be so busy chasing the good times that they avoid dealing with their own pain. At the same time, they might not realize how their actions might affect others. But when it comes to making their needs known? Theyโ€™re bold, charming, and unafraid to prioritize their own happiness.

At their best, Sevens use their assertiveness and enthusiasm to stick up for others and inspire them. Their joy and energy is contagious, and they blend being optimistic and bold with being productive and helpful.

 

#3 โ€“ Enneagram 1

72.22% of Ones said it was easy for them to stand up for themselves, making them the 3rd most assertive Enneagram type.

If Ones had a mantra, it might be, โ€œDo it right, or donโ€™t do it at all.โ€ Theyโ€™re driven by a deep desire to be good, ethical, and responsible. Their biggest fear is being corrupt or wrong, so they pour their energy into upholding high standardsโ€”for themselves and everyone else. Assertiveness for a One often looks like correcting mistakes, speaking up for whatโ€™s fair, or making sure things are done the โ€œrightโ€ way.

I once coached a One who couldnโ€™t tell a lie, to the point where sheโ€™d admit things that she really didnโ€™t want to say, things that actually hurt other peopleโ€™s feelings. But she had to be โ€œrealโ€ and despised sugarcoating.  For her it was all about integrity. She said, โ€œIf I canโ€™t be honest, whatโ€™s the point of anything?โ€

For many Ones, sticking up for themselves is about doing whatโ€™s right. If they feel genuinely in the wrong, theyโ€™ll typically take responsibility (unless theyโ€™re unhealthy). But if they see something being done incorrectly or with bad motivations, theyโ€™ll likely speak out.

โ€œI use my voice to speak out against injustice,โ€ one respondent stated in the survey, โ€œIโ€™ve protested against policies that would hurt our planet or women or the LGBTQ+ community, and Iโ€™ll keep doing it because itโ€™s the right thing to do.โ€ While each One will have different political opinions or values, they will usually have a strong desire to speak up in defense of them.

But what about when Ones are unhealthy? At their worst, they become critical and overly rigid, holding themselves (and others) to impossible standards.  But at their best, Ones use their assertiveness to bring order and fairness to chaotic situations. They know how to take a stand for whatโ€™s right, even when itโ€™s not easy.

#4 โ€“ Enneagram 3

55.55% of Enneagram 3s said it was easy for them to stand up for themselves. Their biggest fear is failure or being seen as incompetent, so theyโ€™re wired to achieve, adapt, and excel. When a Three speaks up, itโ€™s often about making sure their efforts are recognized or ensuring their goals arenโ€™t derailed. Assertiveness for them is pragmaticโ€”itโ€™s less about confrontation and more about maintaining momentum and going after their goals.

That said, 44.45% of 3s still found it difficult to stick up for themselves. Thatโ€™s a pretty high number! Many 3s are focused on image and how theyโ€™re perceived and some of them struggle with social pressure as a result. They may โ€œgo with the flowโ€ because it might look bad for them otherwise. Other Threes are used to denying their emotions and feelings, repressing them to stay on task. These Threes might struggle to voice their feelings because theyโ€™ve repressed them for so long and arenโ€™t even sure what they are anymore.

I worked with a Three who thrived in competitive environments. He told me, โ€œIf someone tries to take credit for my work, I donโ€™t get madโ€”I just make sure everyone knows the truth.โ€ He wasnโ€™t aggressive, but he had a knack for redirecting conversations to highlight his contributions. Efficiency was his priority, and he had no patience for anything (or anyone) slowing him down.

I have another friend who is a Three who finds it difficult to stick up for herself. At work if sheโ€™s criticized she legitimately wonders if itโ€™s true and tries to work harder, improving her performance, even when the criticism was unfounded and mean-spirited.

So even though they are a mixed bag, Threes are still one of the more assertive types. They have a knack for speaking up without seeming confrontational. This is in part because theyโ€™re skilled at presentation and knowing what people want to see or hear. But their adaptability can sometimes blur their own needs. They can be so focused on external success that they might ignore their emotions until burnout hits. When healthy, though, Threes use their assertiveness to inspire and motivate others, showing that ambition doesnโ€™t have to come at the expense of collaboration.

#5 –  Enneagram 5

51.92% of Fives said it was easy for them to stand up for themselves, making them the 5th most assertive Enneagram type.

Fives might not seem like the most assertive types at first glance. Theyโ€™re often quiet, observant, and a bit detached. But barge in on them and prepare to meet their wrath! Of course, this wrath might come out in mumbled grumbles, or it may come out in an irritated sight, but itโ€™s still there. Their biggest fear is being overwhelmed or depleted, so theyโ€™re quick to speak up if they feel their time or energy is being drained.

I remember a Five client who told me, โ€œIโ€™m fine helping people as long as they donโ€™t expect me to drop everything or help out without any warning. If someone tries to push too hard, I just say no.โ€ For him, assertiveness wasnโ€™t about confrontation; it was about staying in control of his resourcesโ€”whether that was time, energy, or knowledge.

Still, 48.08% of Fives struggle to speak up for themselves, and thatโ€™s quite a lot! For many Fives, acting and using a lot of energy to push against others can feel draining. Some will go along with others simply because they see the alternative as potentially more draining.

Fives tend to reject systems or rules that donโ€™t make sense to them, and they donโ€™t shy away from expressing their frustrations. But they can also resist recognizing their physical presence, needs, or feelings at times, and this can mean that they donโ€™t stick up for themselves because they arenโ€™t in touch with themselves enough to know what they really need. Yet at their best, Fives blend their intellectual prowess with action, vision, and focus, having a clear-minded confidence in their perspective.

You can find out more about Fives here: 7 Struggles of the Enneagram Five Type

#6 โ€“ Enneagram 6

37.50% of Sixes said it was easy for them to stand up for themselves. That means most Sixesโ€”62.50%โ€”find it challenging. With Sixes, I think subtype has a lot to do with it. Self-Preservation and Social Sixes are far more reliant on authority and their communities, whereas Sexual Sixes are a bit more rebellious and outspoken when they feel put upon or criticized.

The Sixes biggest fear is being without support, guidance, or certainty. Being assertive against an authority or support system thatโ€™s been there for them can be extremely difficult for them. Assertiveness, for them, depends on their sense of security in the moment.

I once worked with a Six who said, โ€œIโ€™ll speak up if I know Iโ€™m on solid ground, but if thereโ€™s any doubt in my mind, Iโ€™ll hesitate.โ€

Sixes tend to weigh potential outcomes, make predictions, question their instincts, and seek out reassurance. Average to unhealthy Sixes tend to distrust themselves, which is why they so often seek out support systems or communities to look to for guidance. This mental juggling act can make it hard for them to take a firm stance, even when they know they should.

But donโ€™t mistake that hesitation for weakness. Once a Six feels secureโ€”whether thatโ€™s in their beliefs, their support system, or their knowledgeโ€”they can be some of the most assertive and courageous people youโ€™ll meet. One Six respondent said, โ€œWhen Iโ€™m standing up for someone I care about, it doesnโ€™t matter how scared I amโ€”Iโ€™ll fight like hell.โ€ Sixes are fiercely protective, and their loyalty shines when the stakes are high.

At their worst, Sixes can second-guess themselves to the point of inaction. They might avoid conflict entirely, fearing theyโ€™ll say or do the wrong thing. But at their best, theyโ€™re grounded, confident, and brave in their commitment to what matters most.

Discover more about Sixes: 7 Struggles of the Enneagram Six Type

#7 โ€“ Enneagram 2

31.25% of Twos said it was easy for them to stand up for themselves. That means nearly 70% struggle with assertiveness. Twos are the helpers, the nurturers, the โ€œWhat do you need? Iโ€™m here for youโ€ people. Their biggest fear is being unloved or unwanted, and their biggest desire is to feel connected and appreciated. Standing up for themselves often feels like the opposite of helping others, which can create a serious internal conflict.

I once coached a Two who told me, โ€œIโ€™ll stand up for everyone else, but when itโ€™s my turn, I freeze. Iโ€™m so used to thinking about THEM, when it comes to me I donโ€™t even know what to say.โ€ This is the Twosโ€™ dilemma in a nutshell. Theyโ€™re so focused on meeting othersโ€™ needs that they often ignore their own, leaving them vulnerable to being overlooked or taken advantage of.

That said, when a Two feels genuinely appreciated or supported, theyโ€™re more likely to speak up. One survey respondent said, โ€œIโ€™ve learned that I canโ€™t pour from an empty cup. Iโ€™m trying to set boundariesโ€”not just for me, but so I can keep being there for the people I love.โ€ Healthy Twos recognize that assertiveness isnโ€™t selfish; itโ€™s mandatory for maintaining their energy and well-being.

When unhealthy, Twos can become passive-aggressive or manipulative, using guilt to express their unmet needs indirectly. But at their best, they model what it means to set boundaries with love and grace. They show us that kindness and assertiveness arenโ€™t mutually exclusiveโ€”theyโ€™re two sides of the same coin.

Find out more about Twos: 7 Struggles of the Enneagram Two Type

#8 โ€“ Enneagram 9

24% of Nines said it was easy for them to stand up for themselves. That leaves a whopping 76% struggling, which isnโ€™t surprising for the type often called โ€œThe Peacemaker.โ€ Nines fear conflict and loss of connection, and their biggest desire is inner and outer harmony. For them, assertiveness often feels like throwing a rock into calm waterโ€”something theyโ€™d much rather avoid.

I know a Nine who said, โ€œIโ€™ll do almost anything to avoid a fight. Itโ€™s just not worth the tension.โ€ That โ€œalmost anythingโ€ can look like agreeing when they donโ€™t mean it, staying quiet when they should speak up, or simply going along with the flowโ€”even if it leads them somewhere they donโ€™t want to go. Theyโ€™re the masters of keeping the peace, but sometimes at the cost of their own needs and opinions.

When unhealthy, Nines can become so passive that they lose sight of themselves entirely. But when theyโ€™re healthy, theyโ€™re some of the most grounded, balanced people youโ€™ll ever meet. One Nine respondent shared, โ€œIโ€™ve learned that avoiding conflict doesnโ€™t mean avoiding my voice. I can disagree without causing a fightโ€”it just takes practice.โ€ Healthy Nines bring a quiet strength to the table, showing us that assertiveness can be calm, thoughtful, and deeply respectful.

Find out more about Nines: Seven Struggles of the Enneagram Nine Type

#9 โ€“ Enneagram 4

10% of Fours said it was easy for them to stand up for themselves, and this one really surprised me. I was sure 9s would be the type with the lowest percentages, but here we are.

The key to remember in this is that just because it isnโ€™t easy doesnโ€™t mean Fours donโ€™t speak up for themselves. Quite a few Fours commented that they do speak up for themselves, but they face a lot of anxiety and dread in doing so. โ€œI hate being assertive,โ€ one Four said, โ€œbut I do it anyway because I need to be real. I canโ€™t just let people walk all over me.โ€

Fours are the individualists, the artists, the people who bring emotional depth and authenticity to the world. Their biggest fear is being insignificant or flawed, and their biggest desire is to find their unique identity. Assertiveness, for Fours, is often wrapped up in their emotions, which can make it tricky to navigate.

I had a Four client who described it: โ€œI donโ€™t like conflict because it feels like rejection. If someone pushes back, I take it personally.โ€ For Fours, standing up for themselves can feel like putting their heart on the line. If their perspective isnโ€™t valued, it stings in a way thatโ€™s hard to shake off.

That said, when a Four is passionate about somethingโ€”especially something tied to their values or creativityโ€”they can be surprisingly bold. One Four respondent said, โ€œIf I feel strongly enough about something, Iโ€™ll stand up for it. But Iโ€™m so used to being misunderstood, like since childhood, that Iโ€™ve stopped expending energy on trying to fight for how people perceive me.โ€

Unhealthy Fours can get stuck in despair, seeing themselves as fundamentally flawed and powerless. But at their best, they channel their emotional depth into a quiet, powerful assertiveness thatโ€™s deeply inspiring. You can find out more about this in my article 7 Struggles of the Enneagram 4 Type.

What Do You Think?

Do these findings resonate with your experience? Do you have any tips or insights to share with others who have your Enneagram type? Let us and other readers know in the comments!

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3 Comments

  1. I am a 4 and this doesn’t surprise me at all. I am also an ISFJ and I wouldn’t be surprised if we are low on assertiveness also. Thank you.

  2. Iโ€™m a 4w5, and I tend to be too nice, which makes people take advantage and walk all over me. I was teased/shunned in school, and although this made me angry I didnโ€™t do anything about it. I wouldโ€™ve liked to physically hurt the kids who harassed me, but I refrained because I didnโ€™t want to get in trouble.

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