Escaping the Trap of Resentment for Enneagram 1s

As human beings, each of us are driven by certain motivations, fears, and deeply-held desires. Sometimes we’re not even sure why we have these motivations. Many times they stem from formative childhood experiences, and other times they come from our individual personality types.

The Enneagram is a system that helps us to understand our motivations and the way we interact with the world around us. It’s often used to gain insight into ourselves, as well as others. There are nine unique Enneagram types, each with their own strengths and weaknesses. In this article, we’ll be focusing on Enneagram 1 – the Reformer.

Enneagram 1 individuals tend to have a strong sense of justice and fairness. They strive for perfection in all aspects of life, and are often driven by personal growth and self-improvement. While these qualities can be admirable, they can also lead to a chronic sense of dissatisfaction. That’s what we’ll be looking at today.

Estimated reading time: 5 minutes

The Enneagram 1 Fixation – Resentment

The Enneagram Type One often carries a burden of resentment, constantly focusing on imperfections within themselves and others. Their relentless pursuit of perfection leaves them perpetually feeling inadequate. This tireless drive can be draining, not just for the Ones themselves, but also for those in their vicinity. They struggle to find relaxation, always yearning for control and obsessing over every detail. Frequently, Ones assume more responsibilities than others, taking decisive action but ultimately succumbing to burnout in the process.

In some cases, the One, driven by their pursuit of perfection, may become so fixated on every tiny flaw in themselves or others that nothing is ever good enough. They hold themselves to impossibly high standards and constantly strive for an unattainable level of perfection. This relentless pursuit of an idealized world can lead to chronic dissatisfaction with their own lives and a deep sense of disappointment with reality. They have meticulously crafted an image in their mind of how the world should be – a world that is more ethical, more pure, and more righteous. However, as they are confronted with the messy complexities of real life, they can easily become disillusioned and overwhelmed with despair. Paradoxically, the One often suppresses their anger, deeming it as “bad,” and instead clings on to resentment, fueling their perpetual dissatisfaction.

Escaping the Trap of Resentment

The path to healing for the Enneagram One is through cultivating serenity and letting go of the relentless pursuit of control and perfection. This transformative journey may pose challenges for the average to unhealthy Ones, as they may persistently cling to control even when it proves detrimental. Overcoming the fear of losing control is a daunting task, but with consistent daily practices and self-reflection, they can gradually progress towards attaining a state of inner peace and serenity.

Meditation is one way that the One can begin to shift their focus away from control and toward acceptance. By sitting in silence and simply observing their thoughts and feelings, they can begin to let go of the need to be in charge all the time. Making time for soothing activities that bring them into the present moment, like taking a walk in nature or practicing self-care, can also help.

Mindfulness is an incredibly powerful and transformative tool for the Enneagram One. By practicing the art of staying fully present and deeply focused on the current moment, they can cultivate a heightened sense of self-awareness, allowing them to observe and understand their thoughts and emotions with greater clarity. This heightened awareness becomes especially valuable when they find themselves slipping into a state of resentment, as they are able to recognize it more readily and consciously choose to release the need for control. Embracing mindfulness can truly empower and support the Enneagram One’s journey towards personal growth and inner peace.

Finally, practicing self-forgiveness can be a powerful way for the Enneagram One to move beyond resentment and toward healing. Recognizing that they, like everyone else, are imperfect and make mistakes can help them let go of the need to be perfect all the time. It can feel strange at first, but making time for leisure activities, laughter, and relaxation can all help the One to become more in touch with serenity. They can begin to accept and love themselves for who they are, flaws and all.

Some Simple Practices to Promote Growth:

• Take time to meditate and practice mindfulness regularly
• Learn to recognize when you’re comparing yourself to unrealistic standards and practice self-forgiveness.
• Take regular breaks and make time for leisure activities that bring joy, such as listening to music or going for a stroll in nature.
• Notice the beauty of imperfection by appreciating natural phenomena like clouds or flowers.
• Take time for laughter. It may seem silly, but laughter can be incredibly therapeutic and can help the One embrace openness and acceptance. Humor often pokes fun at the idea of perfection and brings to light human imperfections we all share.
• Make sure to get plenty of restful sleep. A lack of quality sleep can make it harder to try new things and break negative patterns.

“Ultimately, people dominant in type One need to learn to rest in stillness. Stillness for Ones connects them to the reality of who they are by calming the emotional energy of their anger and releasing the mental vise grip in which their resentment holds them. In stillness, they learn to rest, to stop trying to fix everything and correct everyone, and to arrest their own inner criticisms and judgment.” – Christopher L. Heuertz, The Sacred Enneagram

Conclusion:

Ultimately, Enneagram 1s have an incredible capacity for wisdom, self-discipline, and integrity. By exploring and understanding the roots of their anger and resentment, Ones can learn to relinquish their need for control and embrace the best parts of themselves. With a regular practice of self-awareness, mindfulness, and acceptance, they can break free from the trap of resentment and step into the life they truly deserve – one full of peace, joy, and personal growth.

Other Articles You Might Enjoy:

The Enneagram 1: The Perfectionist

The Enneagram 1 Child

10 Signs of an Unhealthy Enneagram 1

References:

The Enneagram Made Easy by Renee Baron & Elizabeth Wagele (1994, HarperOne)

The Sacred Enneagram by Christopher L. Heuertz (2017, Zondervan Publishing)