Fear and Loathing: The Unspoken Dread of Every Myers-Briggs® Personality Type

Do you ever find yourself lying awake at night filled with dread and uncertainty? Have you ever wondered why the things that bother you don’t seem to phase other people at all? While fear isn’t something that can be completely narrowed down by personality type, there are certain fears that are mentioned again and again by specific personality types. Over the years I’ve spoken with hundreds of people about fear and sorted out the specific things that each type mentions the most. I’ll be exploring those fears in today’s post!

Disclaimer: I am not a professional psychologist. If you find yourself facing these fears on a regular basis I definitely recommend getting some professional assistance.

Not sure what your personality type is? Take our personality questionnaire here. Or you can take the official MBTI® here.

Estimated reading time: 26 minutes

The Unspoken Dread of Every Myers-Briggs® Personality Type

The ENFP

Ever feel that surge of panic and nerves when life starts closing in on you, pushing you into a corner? The moment things start feeling like a never-ending loop or when obligations start boxing you in, it’s like an alarm goes off in your head!

I know that you, as an ENFP, crave that sense of freedom, the thrill of exploration, and the rush of new discoveries and adventures. It’s like oxygen to your soul. But when you find yourself stuck in a monotonous routine, it’s like being trapped in a cage, suffocating. Every ENFP I’ve spoken with has mentioned this fear of being “caged in” by a life that is predictable, mundane, or routine. A life that gradually robs them of options, freedom, and room to explore.

If you’re nodding along right now, feeling like you’re caught in this cycle, it’s time to pause and reflect. What really matters to you in the grand scheme of things? Are all these obligations truly essential? Maybe it’s time to reassess and cut loose some of those non-essentials. What you need to change might be small or big, but it’s crucial to make sure your decision, whatever it is, is in line with your values.

Maybe it’s time to consider a different job, or perhaps even small tweaks to your current situation could make a meaningful difference. How about carving out some unstructured free time just for yourself? Take some time to brainstorm, dream up a vacation (even if you can’t afford it right now), or spend some time walking around in a natural setting where the beauty of nature can inspire you with new ideas. Find some ways to add some unstructured, exploratory time into your everyday life so that you can veer away from the dread of feeling trapped in a Groundhog’s Day movie.

Read This Next: 24 Signs That You’re an ENFP, The Visionary Personality Type

The ENTP

You know how some people fret over their lives being upended by change? Well, for you, it’s the complete opposite. You thrive on novelty, on diving headfirst into new experiences, ideas, and theories. The mundane? Not your style. You hunger for knowledge, for challenges that push the boundaries of what’s considered “normal.”

Whenever you feel tied down or pressured to conform to what everyone else is doing, it’s like an electric jolt running through your veins. You believe life isn’t meant to be stagnant; it’s meant to be an intellectual adventure waiting to be embarked upon. Those traditions everyone holds dear? You’re not afraid to poke holes in them, to question their validity. You feel dread when life seems too full of same-ness and predictability.

Maybe the key to breaking free lies in embracing the unfamiliar. Dive into a book that explores a groundbreaking scientific theory or immerse yourself in a philosophy that challenges everything you thought you knew. And if that’s not enough, shake things up by stepping out into the world, seeking new experiences, or engaging in spirited debates with a friend who shares your love for sharpening each other’s knowledge and wit. After all, life’s too short to stay boxed in.

Read This Next: The ENTP Dark Side

The INFP

As an INFP, you often find yourself gazing at the world around you, seeing the shadows of corruption, greed, and pain. It can feel like each news story becomes a window into someone’s suffering, pulling you deep into their experiences. I once knew an INFP who became a true hermit, never leaving the house because she hated how much evil was out in the world and felt like she had to guard herself from it. There are times when you might feel tempted to do the same thing (I know I have, and I’m not even an INFP).

You can’t help but worry about a future where society loses touch with its conscience. Where comfort and ease takes the place of compassion and empathy. You see all the technological advancements and corporate greed and worry that people will sacrifice their humanity for momentary pursuits that provide no lasting value. Your heart hurts for those who are persecuted, dismissed, or simply lost in the chaos of it all. The weight of the world rests heavy on your shoulders, but somehow, you can’t imagine living without it. You know that part of what makes you powerful is to feel deeply for those who are downtrodden or hurting.

Here’s the thing: amidst the chaos, it’s crucial to enjoy moments of being a hermit (doesn’t every introvert need a cozy room or hideaway where they can get away from it all?). Unplug from the noise. Lock away your phone, switch off the TV, and immerse yourself in the calm of the natural world. Amidst the distractions, find time to note down what is still beautiful in your daily life, jotting down ten things you’re grateful for before you go to sleep.

Nourish your soul with rest, whether it’s a soothing bath or losing yourself in the pages of a beloved book. Seek solace in the company of trusted friends or the unconditional love of a cherished pet. And remember, even the smallest acts of kindness can make a world of difference. Whether it’s planting a tree, taking some cans of soup to a homeless shelter, or helping a loved one who’s elderly, find a simple yet meaningful way to contribute to the world around you.

Read This Next: The Lonely INFP: How to Cope When You Feel Alone

The INTP

As an INTP you tend to appear cool, calm, and collected.  Maintaining your autonomy and freedom is something you prioritize every day. And while you get excitement from diving into complex theories and philosophies, there’s more to you than just that. Beneath your appearance of self-reliance lies a desire for real, meaningful connections.

You worry about what you say, whether you’ve said the right thing, not enough, or whether you’ll ever have enough knowledge to be content. Sometimes your biggest fears have to do with uncertainty about where you stand with the people you care about. You want depth, but you don’t want to put yourself on display or risk being too vulnerable. Sometimes you’re candid and regret it later. Sometimes you’d rather just wile away the hours with your ideas rather than risk it all on a person (or people) who may just reject you in the long run. At other times, you worry that you’re going to spend so much time learning that you’re not going to put out your “magnum opus” or finish something you’re really proud of.

For you, it’s crucial to grasp the reality that rejection and vulnerability are universal experiences. Abraham Lincoln, rumored to be a fellow INTP, was defeated for Illinois state legislator in 1832, started a business only to see it go under, lost his run for Congress in 1843 and again in 1848, and had a series of other failures before he became the influential president who changed the course of American history.

Stepping into the spotlight, whether to showcase your talents, forge connections, or pursue relationships, can be terrifying. However, without taking that leap of faith, the potential for growth remains untapped and you’re left with the dread that your potential might be squandered. But without trying you’ll never know what you could gain.

Read This Next: The Dark Side of the INTP Personality Type

The ENFJ

You’re known for your compassion, your knack for seeing the bigger picture, and your insightful nature. People gravitate to you when they’re in need of a shoulder to lean on or some guidance through life’s twists and turns.

But let’s be honest – even the most empathetic people can’t escape the occasional clash with someone who takes everything  the wrong way, or who just likes to “stir the pot” with gossip or offended reactions. At some point or another, you’ll meet someone who likes to spread negative information about you or takes everything you say or do the wrong way. You hate the drama, the confusion, the feeling that your reputation is out of your control.

The worst part? Feeling mistrusted or misunderstood. You’re the kind of person who, when things go wrong with you relationships, finds yourself replaying every conversation, every decision, searching for any hint of misunderstanding or error. But here’s the thing: what truly matters is how you see yourself.

You can’t control what others think or do, but you have power over your own actions and beliefs. Talk to a trusted friend for support, remind yourself of who you truly are, and get a break from the chaos of the outside world for a time. Learn to cultivate respect and love for yourself, something that doesn’t depend on the unpredictable twists and turns of other people’s moods.

The ENTJ

Driven and ambitious, you’re on a mission to carve out your own path to success and seize full control over your destiny. The mere thought of settling for a mundane existence or being just another cog in the wheel leaves you feeling queasy.

In the quiet hours of the night, your mind buzzes with innovative ideas and strategies to elevate your life, make new discoveries, or change the world in some small (or large) way. You’re constantly striving to stay ahead of the game, refusing to settle for anything less than extraordinary. Whether you’re trying to improve the world for people, or unlock a new level in your business pursuits, there’s always a loftier goal you’re trying to attain.

If you find yourself trapped in a monotonous routine where every day feels the same and your goals are only as ambitious as an early retirement, you’re going to be filled with dread. You need to surround yourself with individuals who share your hunger for greatness, who dream big and aim high. If life feels too shallow, too focused on momentary pleasures, you’ll feel empty inside. You hate the idea of settling for mediocrity, doing only “good enough”, or wasting your life on trivial pursuits.

If you’re feeling unchallenged and bored in your current lifestyle think of some ways to test yourself. Come up with a plan to create your own business, take up a recreational pursuit that requires mastery and quick thinking. Do something that fulfills your need for independent achievement, even if it’s only in a small way.

Read This Next: All About the ENTJ Personality Type

The INFJ

With a focus on the bigger picture and a keen imagination, you have the innate ability to foresee patterns and trajectories.  You’re adept at finding underlying meanings and discerning their implications for the future. Your imagination and your sense of potential drive you to find meaningful, impactful experiences that will improve the world.

But here’ the thing about seeing patterns: Sometimes they’re good and sometimes they’re bad. At times, you may find yourself recognizing patterns that are…let’s face it…gloomy. Whether it’s a larger global problem (climate change or something similar) or a more personal problem (a relationship going south), the patterns you see can sometimes fill you with dread or anxiety. On top of that, when you try to confide in people about your worries, a lot of them might just shrug off or dismiss your fears because they’re “too” intuitive or abstract. Especially in the western world, people tend to distrust hunches and patterns more than facts and experiences.

You might find yourself late at night, grappling with how to intervene or prevent these negative patterns from repeating themselves. During these times, it’s important to remember to pause and ground yourself in the present moment amidst these fears. Catastrophizing or overwhelming yourself serves no purpose. Remember what’s real and take a few deep breaths and fill your lungs. Calm your body and clench and unclench your muscle groups in order to relax your senses. Then  take a few moments to write down your insights, thoughts, and perceptions in a journal and then close it and let yourself sleep on it. During rest, your mind typically synthesizes all this information and you will have a fresher perspective in the morning.

Read This Next: 10 Extremely Annoying INFJ Pet Peeves

The INTJ

You have a strong vision for the future, and a strategic mind that knows how to conquer challenges and obstacles.  On the outside, you tend to show a confident, pragmatic exterior. But this doesn’t mean that nothing worries you at all. 

Failure is one of your biggest fears, and something that can keep you up at night going over a mental checklist of all the things you might have messed up on. I know for me as an INTJ, I have this nagging worry that my hard work will eventually fall apart and I won’t be able to take care of my family the way I need to.

You know that bravely focusing on your goal is the wisest thing to do; staying the course, charting the path, and making a strong long-term plan. But sometimes you worry that you’re spending all your time on a project or idea that will never get off the ground or will eventually fall apart. You worry about wasted time, effort, and thought.

Time is frequently on your mind. It’s a currency that is always being spent whether you’re asleep or awake. You often think about how you want to look back on your life when you’re on your death bed. And you worry that you’ll get to the end of your life and realize you spent all that time on a misguided plan or a vision that never came to life.

Next time you’re feeling this fear, just remember that you’re not alone in this. All the great entrepreneurs and visionaries have encountered massive failures at one point or another. Steve Jobs was fired from the very company he began! He famously said, “I didn’t see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me.” Just remember that there is valuable knowledge to be learned from nearly every negative experience, so even if you fail, even if it takes a while, keep trying. And remember that “good enough” is sometimes the closest anyone can get to perfection.

Read This Next: 10 Things People Misunderstand About INTJs

The ESFP

You know how some people worry about not having stability or a sense of routine? For you, that’s not as much of an issue. You’re more afraid of your life closing in on you. You tend to make quick, impulsive decisions and sometimes you worry that your decisions are going to make your life narrower and narrower. At other times, you feel dread over the finite nature of life itself. You enjoy being active, free, and unencumbered by a lot of duties and rules, but you know that the lifespan of this lifestyle is limited. You want to feel like the joy and freedom of youth will always lie open before you.

If you’re grappling with this particular form of dread, the path to relief lies in finding a balance between spontaneity and introspective contemplation. Leave yourself unstructured time every day to feel free and follow whatever direction your heart wants you to go. But also take time for mindfulness practices or meditation can also help you stay calm, reduce anxieties about the future or regrets about the past. Take some time each day to think about what will matter to you at the end of your life. It sounds morbid, but contemplating life’s end is one of the surest ways to making wise life choices. What activities, relationships, and choices will be the most important at the end? How can you infuse some of these important values into your daily life.

And this last part should be easy for you as an ESFP. Take some time to create or nurture deep, meaningful relationships. This process will remind you that life’s value isn’t solely in fun, momentary experiences but also in the connections we forge and maintain. As a people person, this part should be one of the most rewarding for you.

The ESTP

As an ESTP you get your energy and purpose from being active, free, and able to explore whatever path catches your interest. You thrive on freedom and control over your destiny, embodying the spirit of adventure in both thought and action. The prospect of being immobilized, either through illness or aging, gives you an aching sense of dread. Feeling like you’re a burden, like you have no autonomy, or that you’re unable to be free and active, creates a sense of restlessness and anxiety for you. My ESTP husband mentions this as his only fear; the fear of someday not being able to be as active and strong as he prides himself on being.

Similarly, being trapped in a stifling job or an unappreciative relationship can feel like being caged, suffocating your need for independence and space to roam.

When these anxieties rear their ugly heads, it’s crucial to pause and examine your thoughts for accuracy. Are your anxieties stemming from boredom or a feeling of inertia in your life? Engaging in physical activity, pursuing a hobby, or accomplishing a small yet meaningful task can often give you the momentum needed to break free from these feelings.

It’s also important to make peace with the inevitability of your body slowing down and the aging process. Accept that someday it may be harder to move, but you will still be valuable and important. Think of the wisdom you can provide or the love you can offer that makes you invaluable to your loved ones. Eliminate regrets by making amends with people, reflecting on your accomplishments, and thinking about the moments you want to create today that you’ll look back on with joy later.

It’s possible you’re evolving beyond your current circumstances, and what feels like being trapped is simply a sign that you’ve outgrown your present environment. Perhaps you really have outgrown your current life. Humans aren’t static. Maybe your career isn’t harnessing your strengths. Maybe your situation needs a change. But be careful before doing anything drastic – make sure you’re being truthful and complete in your assessment of the situation first.

Find out more about ESTPs: 10 Amazing ESTP Anime Characters

The ISFP

Gentle, creative, and pragmatic—you’re both a free spirit and a down-to-earth realist. You relish living in the moment, seizing life passionately without being shackled by endless “what ifs” and future speculations.

Following your heart and instincts comes naturally to you, as you search for meaning and beauty in the world. Yet, this very gift of yours can sometimes be a double-edged sword. You may find yourself worrying about the possibility of losing the things that matter most to you, whether it’s due to not sticking to a plan, failing to build that savings account, or living moment to moment without taking care of the mundane details that make life more secure. The fear of being encumbered by outside influences or missing an important step might fill you with the dread that your freedom is going to be short-lived.

What do you do when these fears keep you up at night? Sometimes, what you need is a good conversation with a friend—a simple heart-to-heart talk to let you know that everything is going to be okay. Other times, your fears can serve as a gentle nudge, a reminder that some proactive steps are needed to safeguard your long-term security.

One thing that I find helpful is to “swallow the frog” first thing in the morning. This means that when I wake up, after doing my normal morning routine, I try and tackle the most difficult or daunting task first. This helps ease my anxieties because I know that even if everything else goes wrong during the day, at least I’ve accomplished something that’s making my life more secure. I don’t have to carry around that task on my mind the rest of the day, worrying that I’ll never get it done. This is something I’ve also taught to my ISFP 18-year-old and has helped them work through anxiety as well.

Find out more about ISFPs: Why ISFPs Struggle with Loneliness and How to Cope

The ISTP

Independent and logical, most ISTPs I know pride themselves on not being afraid of anything. If you’re reading this and you’re an ISTP, you probably relate to being in touch with what’s real and what’s irrational. Because of this, you might not struggle with existential angst like some of the other personality types. But this doesn’t mean you’re without worry or fear. When I spoke with ISTPs about their fears, they often mentioned struggling with the fear of losing someone they loved or losing their own autonomy. A loved one dying, a child getting hurt, even someone hurting their pet might make an ISTP go all John Wick on whoever the perpetrator was.

When these fears emerge, try to see them not as obstacles but as reminders of what matters to you. Maybe they can remind you to check in on a loved one, continue an exercise regimen that improves your mobility, or help out with a cause that helps you take care of causes that matter to you. As an ISTP, you value practicality and being able to solve problems quickly and efficiently. So instead of letting fears consume you, use them as motivators to take action and address any potential issues before they become bigger problems.

Read This Next: 10 Things You Should Never Say to an ISTP

The ESFJ

For you, every day is an opportunity to nurture and provide for those around you. You notice details like a hawk, and use this attention to detail to anticipate the needs of others, sometimes before they even realize these needs themselves. You go to great lengths to maintain well-being of your loved ones, whether that means showing up with a hot meal when they’re sick or listening and offering guidance when they’re down. However, underneath all this dedication lies a fear that perhaps, it’s never quite enough—that despite your exhaustive efforts, you can’t possibly prepare for every eventuality life might present.

Sometimes you work so hard to take care of others that you run the risk of burning out. You might worry that nobody could step in and take the reigns if you needed a break. It’s vital during these moments to allow yourself a pause, a moment to simply breathe and reassess. When the weight of these anxieties weighs you down, consider reaching out to a trusted friend. Sharing your feelings could not only lighten your emotional load but also provide a fresh perspective on your situation.

Asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness, but a sign that you’re human. Your friends want to feel needed! Trusting others to share the load doesn’t diminish your efforts; it amplifies your ability to care by involving others in the collective well-being. At other times what you might need is a change of environment—a fresh scene to rejuvenate your spirit and reignite your passion. Remember, ESFJ, in the grand mosaic of life, each piece you lay is vital, and stepping back to care for yourself is essential in continuing to care for others.

Read This Next: 24 Signs That You’re an ESFJ, the Defender Personality Type

The ESTJ

For you as an ESTJ, clarity and structure help you feel calm and competent in life. Ambiguity or uncertain situations make you feel like you’re driving a car with a blindfold on. Stressed. Scared. Maybe a little worried about your life choices. The thought of not knowing the best path forward or what steps are necessary to resolve an issue can lead to sleepless nights.

Open-ended scenarios or unresolved matters are particularly frustrating for you. You like closure. A decision. Focus. In pursuit of this, you might be overly hasty— making decisions that later cause anxiety about their potential repercussions.

You view uncertainty as a nemesis, one that you must eradicate as quickly as possible. Because of this, relaxation and enjoying the present moment become challenging tasks. The minute you sit down you might be flooded with tasks you should be checking up on and completing, or open loops you need to close. During such times, remind yourself that experiencing uncertainty is a normal part of life.

Making peace with uncertainty is a big process, but one that’s deeply important to your well being. It starts with acknowledging that uncertainty is an innate part of life, an uncontrollable force that, despite our best efforts, will always find a way to show up. To coexist with this uncertainty, take time to focus on what you can control, such as your reactions and decisions, instead of worrying about what you can’t control. Create a mental toolbox of stress-relief practices, like mindfulness, meditation, or some physical exercise. Maybe you have a favorite movie that makes you laugh and ease up a little bit. By emphasizing present-day actions over future outcomes, you can find a certain serenity in accepting life’s unpredictability.

The ISFJ

You’re someone who is always trying to make the people you love feel comfortable and secure. You believe in creating a stable, tranquil atmosphere for the people you care about. You appreciate consistency and knowing that the people you love are in harmony. When conflict arises, especially if it’s unresolved and involves you, it feels as though your inner peace is totally destroyed. The stress of conflict might cause you to lose sleep, rehashing your actions and blaming yourself, even when the fault may lie more with someone (or something) else.

In an effort to find resolution, you might go to great lengths, such as taking on tasks unrelated to the core issue in order to feel like you have some control. Or you might try to make peace, even though you’re the one who has been wronged. It’s difficult for you to relax knowing there’s conflict or someone you care about is suffering emotionally.

During these times, it’s vital to remind yourself that only your emotions are within your control. You don’t have to make everything better for everyone else; you’re setting yourself up for failure in a task that is completely impossible. Remind yourself that you are not obligated to manage everyone’s problems. It’s not your responsibility to keep everyone’s world spinning smoothly. Encouraging others to address their own issues is sometimes the most supportive action you can take. If you’re feeling overwhelmed and burnt out, take some time to withdraw and conserve your energy. And remember, allowing people to confront and manage their own emotional challenges can oftentimes be the most benevolent approach.

Read This Next: 24 Signs That You’re an ISFJ

The ISTJ

As an ISTJ, you believe your job is to create stability for the people you care about. Feeling like life around you is out-of-control or the people you love can’t be counted on can make you spiral into worry and fear.

You want to know who’s going to show up when they say they will, say what they mean, and follow through on their word. At times, because you’re so naturally responsible and hard-working, you’re given more tasks than anyone else. Or people leave a lot of details and mundane chores with you, without realizing how much they’re letting rest on your shoulders.

Sometimes it feels like all the work you do is taken for granted and that nobody actually cares or acknowledges what you’re doing. Sometimes you dread being the one to carry the load, and sometimes you dread the inevitable chaos that you feel you have to control to regain security.

If you relate to this, then it’s probably time for you to look at the situation with someone you trust. Maybe you need to have a one-on-one talk with someone in your family to get more support in the work you’re taking on. Maybe you need to schedule in more alone time so that you can recharge and recuperate. Maybe you need to make more peace with a little disorder and let loose the reigns of control so that you can have more calm in  your own mind.

If you’re surrounded by Perceivers, it may be time for a conversation about your needs as a Judging type. Sure, you can’t control all their behaviors and choices, but let them know that for your own life and schedule, you need a sense of routine and structure. Prioritize this while simultaneously respecting their need for space and flexibility.

What Are Your Fears?

Do you relate to these particular forms of dread? Is it something else for you? Share your thoughts with us and other readers in the comments! We’d love to hear from you!