Here’s What Offends You, Based On Your Personality Type
While psychological type can’t tell us everything about a person, it can shed light on some of the things that really bother them. Let’s take a look at some of the things that deeply offend each personality type.
Not sure what your personality type is? Take our new personality questionnaire here. Or you can take the official MBTI® here.
The ENFP – Apathy
ENFPs are individuals of passion and idealism. They are determined believers in leaving the world a better place than they found it. They care deeply about the underdogs of the world and often can be found fighting for the cause of oppressed people. They are offended by people who lack concern for the welfare of others and who are happy to live their lives wrapped up in their own day-to-day concerns. People who brush off the struggles of others or who turn a blind eye to the problems of the world are deeply frustrating to them.
Related: What ENFPs Do When They Get Really Stressed Out
The ENTP – Willful Ignorance
For the ENTP, accuracy in all things is essential. When they come across people who blatantly disregard facts in order to continue believing in a hoax, tradition, or belief system it frustrates them to the core. Willful ignorance, or “confirmation bias” allows people to continue arguing or debating a problem by using logical fallacies, circular reasoning, or excuses. People who are willfully ignorant may argue endlessly against a cause yet simultaneously be unwilling to read, hear, or study the opposing view in any way. ENTPs, who live to seek truth (even if it makes them uncomfortable) are confounded by those who are willing to ignore facts in order to sustain an inaccurate belief.
Related: 10 Things You Should Never Say to an ENTP
The INFP – Hypocrisy
Authenticity and integrity are both powerful values of the INFP personality type. These types are constantly checking in with themselves to assess whether they are living in accordance with their personal ethics. Before speaking, taking an action, or making a decision they ask themselves “Is this really what I believe is right?”, “Am I being sincere here?”. Because they value sincerity to such a strong degree they are deeply offended by people who don’t “practice what they preach”.
Related: 10 Things You Should Never Say to an INFP
The INTP – Guilt Tripping
People who use emotional manipulation to get what they want rather than coming right out and asking for it are the bane of the INTPs existence. INTPs detest it when people use guilt as a way to get something. If there’s an actual reason for the INTP to feel guilty and someone confronts them with it that’s different. Using guilt to get emotional reassurance, a favor, or to gain the upper hand is one way to seriously jeopardize a relationship with an INTP.
Related: 10 Things You Should Never Say to an INTP
The ENFJ – Selfishness
ENFJs are firm believers in “The Golden Rule”. They are wired to think of the needs and concerns of others and they often put those needs before their own. As a result, they are deeply offended by selfishness and self-serving behavior. People who choose to look aside from the suffering people of the world and get wrapped up only in their own ambitions or comforts exasperate them.
Related: 10 Things You’ll Relate to if You’re an ENFJ
The ENTJ – Passive-Aggressiveness
People who pout, sulk, or emotionally “punish” their loved ones rather than directly admitting what is wrong infuriate ENTJs. ENTJs are all about being direct, cutting to the chase, and being honest. They believe that passive-aggressive behavior is not only a waste of their time but insulting to their desire to fix what’s wrong. If you’re ever upset with an ENTJ – tell them. Don’t give them the silent treatment or hide in a corner giving them dirty looks. If you need time to process what you’re upset about, simply tell them “I’m upset but I don’t know how to talk about it yet. I need some time.” Whatever you do, just tell them the truth.
The INFJ – Condescension
INFJs don’t only hate condescension when it’s directed at them – they hate it when it’s directed at anyone. There’s no better way to infuriate an INFJ than to talk down to someone, especially if the condescension is paired with generalizations or “blanket statements” that lack accurate data. Patronizing statements about broad groups of people (“lazy, entitled millennials” for example) anger INFJs who may find themselves defending a group of people they don’t even have a strong connection to simply because the condescension irritates them so much.
Related: 24 Revealing Quotes About the INFJ Personality Type
The INTJ – Assumptions
If you’re ever having a conversation with an INTJ, please, please do not interrupt them with what you anticipate they will say. Don’t make inferences about their character or jump to conclusions about what they can or cannot do. If they’ve spent a great deal of time listening to you, don’t cut them off mid-sentence with your opinion about what they are going to say (or think) and your corresponding argument with it. INTJs are hardly predictable people, but if someone show a habit of jumping to conclusions or making false assumptions they may just write them off and refrain from engaging with them at all.
Related: 3 Weird and Wonderful Secrets About the INTJ
The ESFP – Judgmental, Know-it-all Behavior
Self-righteous, superior behavior completely exasperates the ESFP. There’s nothing worse to them than someone who not only thinks they have all the answers but thinks they need to tell everyone else how to live their lives. It’s especially bad if the judgmental person labels other people. Labeling is something that ESFPs can’t stand – they believe everyone is a unique individual with many different facets and qualities that make them one-of-a-kind. People who take themselves too seriously or feel the need to judge others are usually too tiring for the ESFP to be around.
The ESTP – Being Underestimated
One of the worst things you can say to an ESTP is that they “can’t” do something or that you don’t trust them to get the job done right. ESTPs are skilled at troubleshooting and problem-solving in make-or-break situations where there is a lot of pressure to find a solution quickly. When they are underestimated or dismissed, especially when they are trying to help, this can provoke intense anger in them. They don’t offer to help with something unless they are confident they can do it.
The ISFP – Preying On the Vulnerable
ISFPs tend to be advocates for the underdogs and bullied people of the world and detest anyone who tries to put them down or take advantage of them. They are extremely proactive in defense of people they feel are marginalized, persecuted, or vulnerable in any way. People who manipulate, trick, or harm the defenseless will provoke very intense anger from the otherwise serene ISFP.
The ISTP – Being Teased About Something Personal
ISTPs are very reserved, private individuals who only share their deepest feelings and secrets with a select few. If someone takes those secrets and shares them or, worse, teases them about it publicly, they will probably have a hard time getting into the ISTP’s good graces ever again. If an ISTP tells you something personal it’s best to assume that it should never be shared with anyone else without their explicit permission.
The ESFJ – Trolling
ESFJs deeply dislike people who start an argument or upset others just to generate some excitement for themselves. To the (healthy) ESFJ, people’s feelings should always be handled with care. There is never an excuse to insult or tear down another human being or say inflammatory things just to get everyone riled up. As promoters of harmony and understanding, trolling types will find the ESFJ a formidable adversary.
The ESTJ – Disrespecting Their Time
ESTJs take their time very seriously. They believe that every moment should be put to good purpose and laziness is anathema to them. People who procrastinate, don’t show up on time, or cancel plans at the last minute are maddening to them. If you don’t respect their time then they will have a hard time believing that you respect them as a person.
The ISFJ – Rudeness
ISFJs are extremely attuned to the needs and comforts of the people around them. As such, they find people who are crass, overbearing, or self-seeking oppressive to be around. They believe that every person deserves to be treated with respect, tact, and empathy. They believe that each person deserves personal space and a peaceful environment. People who encroach on others, dismiss their values or cause a lot of drama just to get attention are incredibly vexing to ISFJs.
Related: 10 Things You’ll Relate to if You’re an ISFJ
The ISTJ – Breaking Your Word
ISTJs (at least the healthy ones) are people of their word. They believe in following through on their commitments and they have a great deal of respect for other people’s time. They are extremely offended by people who shirk plans, break promises, or are wishy-washy with their responsibilities. If you break a promise or a commitment with an ISTJ they will have a hard time taking you seriously again in the future. If you respect them, by all means, respect their time.
What Are Your Thoughts?
Do you agree with this article or have any other experiences or thoughts to add? Let us know in the comments!
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As an INFJ I’d say that displays of unfair behavior is what gets me going. Double standards, hypocrisy, rudeness, assumptions and manipulation all fall under that umbrella and I am the first to speak up about it. So not like me otherwise to be confrontational or draw attention as I like to be the one watching “over there.”
You should explain to feminists why it is wrong to demand males “man up” when they do not have their respective position to conform to.
Wow! Yes indeed. Nothing fires me up quicker than overhearing someone being subject to or being on the receiving end of a condescending statement or tone. My anger comes quick, as if it was hiding behind a curtain. The words are out before I can stop them.
Honestly I would be bothered by the majority of things listed above, and so would the majority of people. This reminds me of astrology….
This is exactly what I was going to say, not sure how much weight there is behind these personality types yet, but this particular post seems to be the equivalent of a horoscope.
-An offensive thing will offend you.
-Wow that’s so me!
You must be ISTP. ?
ISFP here, guilt tripping gets me the most. I absolutely despise any kind of manipulative behavior.
I think every personality type gets annoyed by some of these things to some degree, and every personality type has done several if not all of these things at some point in their life, like being selfish for example, I can only name a few people who are not selfish compared to those who are. Being a isfj I do agree I don’t like rudeness, however I also don’t like any of the other ones either. I think its all horrible. But I don’t let any of that get to me. 9 times out of 10 someone who acts like that ends up not having friends or they go through friends very quickly because they can’t keep anyone around their horrible behavior.
Once again, you have hit the nail on the head with the INTJ pet peeve. Interrupting is bad enough, but to interrupt with erroneous assumptions? Please don’t waste my time, and do please ignore me as punishment?
I’m an INFJ, and I think you got it spot-on. Yes, every one of the things that you listed for the other types are unpleasant traits or attitudes that, in an ideal world, I would never have to deal with, either. But ‘condescension’ was what came to my mind as soon as I saw the article title, and after reading over the whole article I would still say it’s the behaviour that has the most immediate, viscerally negative impact on me.
Great article, thank you!
While it’s true that most people would be bothered by all these things I think the matter of degree comes into play with personality traits. As an ISTJ who was given the MBTI by a LCSW-BC who is certified to administer the test I am confident in the results. She told me that I was just like her husband. Some one, especially a friend breaking their word is a very big deal with me to the point that I probably cannot trust that person again.
most of the offenses are based on dom/parent types. the IXTPs listed are beating up on the inferior. Not only will that get you hate. It’s abuse of that person. Don’t do it.
I like this post. It’s kind of obvious that all of these behaviors are offensive to everyone but it is quote clear some are trigger points more than others for each personality.
I can confirm that willful ignorance is my biggest pet peeve. If you’re not willing to have a dialogue, keep your mouth shut.
Strongly disagree with apathy for ENFP. This is more likely to bother someone with a strong FE. As an ENFP, I definitely have my own convictions but I don’t care if anyone else does. We all have our own life to live.
Totally agree. I think I remember reading in another one of her articles that ENFPs get angered by hypocrites or double standards, which I can honestly say is definitely one of my pet peeves for certain.
Wow wow wow!!! I’m blown away by the accuracy of this article!!!! Not only my own personality type’s description, but those of others I know personally, were sooo accurate!