What NOT To Do On a Date With Each Myers-Briggs® Personality Type
Valentine’s Day is on the horizon and with it I’ve gotten a lot of requests to write about the compatibility between types. Considering there are a potential 256 relationship combinations, I decided to do something easier and write a silly little article about what NOT to do on a date with each personality type. Hopefully this isn’t too hard on your sanity!
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What NOT To Do On a Date with Each Myers-Briggs® Personality Type
The ISTJ
Show up late and blame it on needing some last-minute “self-care” time. Then proceed to cry about your last breakup while begging them to console you and share their own breakup stories.
The ISFJ
Show up late and proceed to root through their house, leaving food, dishes, and books haphazardly discarded in random areas. Tell them you just aren’t sure about a big commitment, but you’re going to give them the privilege of “hanging out” tonight. Then fall asleep on their couch.
The ESTJ
Show up late, and when they confront you about it, get defensive and explain that you’re needing a lot of emotional support right now. Have drastic mood swings during the entire date and expect them to “just know” how to respond to your feelings.
The ESFJ
Make big plans to go to a movie they’ve been dying to see. Then show up late so they miss the showing. When they get upset about your lack of follow-through, accuse them of not caring about you enough and being too emotional over a “silly movie”.
The ISTP
Show up unexpectedly at their apartment and bring a day-planner so you can organize your future dates and social engagements for the next 30 days. Badger them about what they’ll be wearing to your dinner date with Aunt Thelma, and then get emotional and beg for reassurance when they say you’re “rushing things”.
The ISFP
Take your date to a loud, grungy bar and drink way too much, drawing lots of attention to yourself (and them) in the process. When they express their discomfort, call them “too sensitive” and tell them they need to “lighten up”. Then get up on stage and serenade them with loud, off-key karaoke.
The ESTP
Get tickets to one of their favorite band’s concerts. Just as the headlining band approaches the stage, tell them you need to go home suddenly (and need a ride). Proceed to cry all the way home about your personal problems, and when they try to offer solutions berate them for “not listening well enough”. When they drop you off at your door, beg them tearfully to make a long-term commitment.
The ESFP
Invite them and all their friends to a “party” you’re throwing at your home. At the party spend your time complaining loudly about politics, religion, and the “irresponsible” people of their age range/gender/political party. Make sure the music is somber and slow and the only snacks available are veggie trays. Then propose in front of their friends.
The INTJ
Show up unexpectedly during a time when your partner is happily enjoying some peace and quiet. Proceed to vent about your personal problems, but tell them you don’t want any solutions, you want them to “just listen”. Make sure that you’re blaming all your problems on other people without taking any personal responsibility. Then compare your relationship to the relationship of a famous reality TV couple.
The INFJ
Take them to a fancy restaurant, but then proceed to be rude to the waitress and nitpick about the cost of everything on the menu. Pick food off your date’s plate while bragging loudly about how much money you make using questionable ethics. Then sigh loudly when you see the bill and tell your date how “lucky” they are that you treated them to such a fancy night out.
Want a comprehensive guide to the INFJ personality type? Check out my eBook, The INFJ – Understanding the Mystic.
The ENTJ
Show up late and blame it on the fact that you “just had” to see what happened in the next episode of your favorite TV soap opera. Then spend the rest of your date talking about said soap opera and making comparisons between your date and the characters in the show. When your date (inevitably) criticizes your obsession, get overly emotional and draw lots of attention to yourself.
The ENFJ
Show up late for a fun night out, and tell your date you just want to “talk”. Proceed to sit in stony silence in the corner of the room, forcing them to make all the conversation. Give one-word answers to their questions and then accuse them of “not caring enough” when they can’t read your mind. When they get visibly irritated at the experience, act surprised and tell them you just can’t deal with their “drama”.
The INTP
Show up unexpectedly at their apartment and drag them to a loud, bustling party. When they seem uncomfortable, urge them to smile and tell them they need to “lighten up”. Afterwards, regale them with the latest celebrity gossip and ask them which Kardashian is their favorite. Whenever they start talking about anything theoretical, make patronizing remarks like, “that’s cute” or “you really believe that?! oh honey.”
The INFP
Show up at their apartment uninvited and tell them you “need to have a talk”. Proceed to criticize their life path as an artist/poet/humanitarian and tell them they need to be more “realistic” about their goals. As they try to respond to your statement, flip through their bookshelf distractedly, shaking your head and making condescending comments about the books. Pick a particularly dog-eared, worn book and use it as a coaster for your coffee.
The ENTP
Invite yourself on a dinner date with your partner and his friends. When they start to discuss an amazing new idea or theory, quickly call them out as “unrealistic” and explain condescendingly that “that’s just not how things are done”. Smirk loudly as they defend their perspectives and brush off all their arguments as “irrational” without explaining why they’re irrational. Throw in a lot of “cutesy” nicknames like “sugar lips” or “puppy” and then get offended and emotional when they don’t feel like planning a follow-up date.
The ENFP
Invite them over to your house and sit them down to discuss how “unrealistic” their ideas and dreams are. Inform them of the importance of tradition and that they need to “remember their place” in society. When you finally give them a chance to discuss their perspective, interrupt them with unrelated flirtatious remarks and comments about how cute they are when they’re passionate about something.
Find out more about your personality type in our eBook, Discovering You: Unlocking the Power of Personality Type.
Other Articles You Might Enjoy:
What Each Myers-Briggs® Type Needs in a Relationship
How to Communicate Effectively with any Myers-Briggs® Personality Type
The Ultimate List of Gift Ideas for Every Myers-Briggs® Personality Type
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All of these are just generally asshole behaviours! No one wants to be with someone like any of these desciptions!
My exes all exhibited behaviors described under worst dates for ENFJ, INFJ, and INFP (the last one being my type). I stayed with them for years, for some reason (likely insecurity). Though, tbh, sounds like I’d really piss off an INTJ, or maybe an ENTJ, if you replaced “watching a soap opera” with “reading a novel.” ?
Just reading this nearly burst the blood vessels in my brain. ENTP here.
OMG, this was hilarious to read. I hope that’s not how most people’s dates go. I’m an ENFP, but the ENFJ’s gets my personal vote for worst date. Switch a fun night out with “talking”. OK. Proceed by hardly talking at all. I hope that was a first date, otherwise I’d be panicking, “What the hell is going on in their head!?!?!?”