The ISTP Flirting Style Explained

Flirting, ISTP-style, is not for the faint of heart—or the overly sentimental. If you’re expecting flowery compliments and grand confessions of love, you’re in the wrong territory. ISTPs flirt like they do everything else in life: playfully, with a side of dry humor, and absolutely no unnecessary frills. If you find yourself wondering, “Wait, are they flirting with me or just being kind of rude?”—congratulations, you’ve caught the attention of an ISTP.

So, how exactly do ISTPs flirt? Let’s break it down.

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The ISTP Flirting Style Explained

1. The “Actions Speak Louder Than Words” Method

ISTPs aren’t about to pour their hearts out in long, poetic texts (okay, maybe, but it’s rare). But they will spend time with you—a lot of time—if they actually like you. And considering they’d usually rather be doing something hands-on (fixing their motorcycle, playing a video game, testing the limits of their risk tolerance), that’s a big deal.

“I’ll devote lots of my free time to them if I really like them, and that says a lot because I protect my free time more than anything.”

Translation: If they’re choosing to be around you instead of dismantling an engine or skydiving on impulse, that’s love.

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2. The “Mock You Mercilessly” Approach

Nothing says “I’m into you” like playful jabs, sarcasm, and a general disregard for your fragile ego. If an ISTP likes you, you’ll probably feel personally attacked—but in a way that somehow makes you like them even more.

“Roasting, mild rudeness, and teasing. So, just being myself.”

“I will literally act out an entire exchange that most people do, like dramatically bending over to pick something up, just to make fun of the standard flirting people do. But yeah, I guess that’s my version of flirting.”

It’s like a cat bringing you a dead mouse—it might seem aggressive, but in their own way, they’re showing they care.

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3. The “I’ll Stare Into Your Soul” Technique

ISTPs are all about body language. Words are overrated. If they like you, you’ll know by the look.

“Whenever I stare at people, I’m trying to communicate something to them to see if they “get it.” So whatever goes on in my mind will show through my eyes.”

“I’ve flirted with women simply by ordering food, maintaining eye contact, and just mildly animating the tone of my voice.”

They’re the kind of people who can make “Can I get a large pepperoni pizza?” sound like the most seductive thing you’ve ever heard just by the way they say it. If an ISTP is looking at you like they’re trying to download your entire personality file into their brain, you’re in.

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4. The “Physically Close but Not Clingy” Maneuver

ISTPs flirt through presence. They won’t gush over how much they like you, but they will sit next to you, bump into you “accidentally,” or, in extreme cases, just sit on you and see what happens.

“If I REALLY like a guy I might just sit on his lap to see what the reaction is. It’s usually positive.”

“I don’t really flirt with words or text, just eye contact and physical touch.”

This is basically ISTP for “I think you’re attractive, and I’m testing your reaction.” If you don’t immediately shove them off, you pass.

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5. The “I’ll Make You Laugh at the Dumbest Things” Tactic

ISTPs aren’t necessarily trying to be funny when they flirt—it just kind of happens. And if they really like you, you’ll notice them laughing way too hard at jokes that aren’t even remotely funny.

“It’s kind of cringe, but I will laugh at things that aren’t funny at all if my crush is the one saying them. I get weirdly giggly.”

It’s their version of a nervous tic. They’ll never say they have feelings (because feelings are terrifying), but if they start giggling at your terrible puns, then that’s a sign they might be into you.

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6. The “Let’s See If You Can Keep Up” Debate

For an ISTP, a good argument is like intellectual foreplay. If they’re engaging you in a lively back-and-forth about some random topic (Are hot dogs sandwiches? Is Die Hard a Christmas movie?), they’re testing your wit.

“I tend to be very cerebral in how I ‘flirt’—I play with words, debate commonly-held beliefs, and try to get you to think about something controversial, but in a fun, heated way.”

This is not the same as fighting with you. If they’re genuinely debating, they find you interesting. If they’re rolling their eyes and walking away, you lost them.

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Final Thoughts: If You’re Still Unsure, You’re Probably on the Right Track

ISTPs aren’t the type to outright tell you they like you (unless they’ve been kidnapped and forced to admit their feelings at gunpoint). But they’ll show you in a thousand little ways—through teasing, lingering eye contact, playful debates, and just being there more than they need to be.

If you find yourself wondering, “Are they into me, or do they just have an incredibly dry sense of humor?”—the answer is probably both.

Good luck friends!

Explore more about your personality type in our eBooks, Discovering You: Unlocking the Power of Personality Type,  The INFJ – Understanding the Mystic, and The INFP – Understanding the Dreamer. You can also connect with me via Facebook, YouTube, or Instagram!

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