The Secret Soft Side of Every Myers-Briggs® Personality Type

Let’s face it – most of us have a side we keep under wraps. Maybe it’s our odd love for nostalgic TV shows, the way we cry over dog commercials, or that deep, tender sensitivity we don’t always show to the world. For some reason, there’s a little voice inside us saying, “They wouldn’t get it.” And let me tell you, you’re not alone.

In a recent survey, I asked over 5,000 people a very simple question: “Are you more sensitive on the inside than people realize?” The answers, as you’ll see, surprised even me – and I’ve been studying personality for over a decade!

The thing is, I think we all get a little wrapped up in the roles people assume we’ll play. I know I’m not the type to wear my heart on my sleeve, either. If you asked my family, they’d say I’m more of the “keep it together and quietly panic” kind of person. But truth be told, I’d probably get misty-eyed over a Pixar movie faster than I’d admit to anyone (except, well, here, where I just admitted it to everyone).

So, why don’t we let this sensitive side show? Is it just the way we’re wired, or do we somehow feel we need to be a little tougher, a little more “put together”?

In this article, we’ll dive into each personality type’s answer, how sensitivity shows up in unexpected places, and maybe why some of us are better at hiding it than others. So, if you’ve ever felt a bit softer inside than people think, or if you’re wondering whether that “tough” friend might just be a secret softie, you’re in the right place.

Not sure what your personality type is? Take our new personality questionnaire here. Or you can take the official MBTI® here.

The Top 5 Most Secretly Sensitive Myers-Briggs Personality Types

1. ISFP – The Quietly Compassionate Type
Sensitivity Rating: 90.48% Yes

Our first “secret softie” might not shock you too much—ISFPs are known for their gentle, creative spirits. But here’s the thing: while ISFPs are super in touch with their feelings, they keep a big chunk of them tucked away, like hidden gems they only share with the few people they trust completely. They embody what Isabel Briggs-Myers described in Gifts, Differing when she talked about the introverted feeling type.

“(They) have feelings that are deep but seldom expressed, because inner tenderness and passionate conviction are both masked by reserve and repose.” – Isabel Briggs Myers, Gifts Differing

ISFPs aren’t the types you’d immediately look at and think, “Yeah, that person’s wearing their heart on their sleeve.” Instead, they tend to wear their feelings on the inside, like a fur-lined jacket. On the outside they may look stoic and mysterious, but inside they feel things with more depth than most. Ever feel an ISFP’s unexpected warmth when they’re helping you out of a tough spot? Yeah, that’s the kind of hidden sensitivity we’re talking about.

Find out more about ISFPs: How ISFPs Say “I Love You”

2. INTJ – The Strategic Softie
Sensitivity Rating: 86.76% Yes

Surprised to see INTJs here? I get it. INTJs are often seen as the planners, the strategists, the “I’ve got a five-year plan and it’s only Tuesday” types. But, as it turns out, a lot of us are softies on the inside. Underneath all that rationality, many INTJs are deeply sensitive, but they’re pros at tucking it away in favor of logic.

I’m an INTJ and I have to admit, this didn’t really surprise me. I’ve spoken to so many INTJs who talk about being far more sensitive than most people know, and I experience this myself as an INTJ. Just as an example, I cried four times watching The Wild Robot in theaters; and I don’t mean a few tears trickling down my cheek, I mean ugly crying (as quietly as humanly possible). My kids just rolled their eyes, because they’re used to that by now.

So yeah, while we INTJs may look tough and all about logic and strategy on the outside, we may secretly cry during Disney movies (hey, Bambi’s mom dying IS sad) or pull over when we see an injured animal on the side of the road. If you’re close to an INTJ, you might catch glimpses of this softer side—just don’t expect them to send you a tearful thank-you card.

Discover more about INTJs: The INTJ Woman, Joys and Challenges

3. INFP – The Idealistic Dreamer
Sensitivity Rating: 84.76% Yes

INFPs are known for their big hearts and deep emotions, so it’s not too shocking they’re on this list. But even the most open INFP has layers. While they might let their close friends see some of their inner world, there are parts they keep hidden. As Isabel Briggs-Myers stated about Introverted feeling types, INFPs “have a wealth of warmth and enthusiasm, but they may not show it until they know someone well.”

Think of them as emotional curators—they’re selective about who gets a tour of their inner museum. But deep down, INFPs are able to put themselves into other people’s shoes and experience deep empathy, intensity of emotion, and fiery passion within seconds. They aren’t the crybabies that many memes would portray them as (thanks a lot, internet), but they feel deeply for the afflictions of others and bring that concern into everything they do.

Find out more about INFPs: 10 Things INFPs Need in a Relationship

4. INFJ – The Thoughtful Empath
Sensitivity Rating: 83.61% Yes

Okay, INFJs showing up here isn’t exactly a plot twist, but there’s a reason it’s worth mentioning. INFJs are often pegged as “the empaths” of the Myers-Briggs world, but they’re also some of the best at holding their feelings close to the chest. Rather than blurting out their emotions to the nearest bystander, they tend to keep them under lock and key until they know someone truly understands them. They’re the friend who’ll listen to your troubles for hours, giving sage advice, but if you ask about their struggles, they may brush it off, focusing on helping you instead. It’s like they’re saving that deep sensitivity for when the world really needs it, or, let’s be honest, for their journal.

Discover more about INFJs: How INFJs Say “I Love You”

5. ISTJ – The Stoic Protector
Sensitivity Rating: 82.22% Yes

Now, this one might be the biggest surprise—ISTJs, the ultimate “practical planners,” are apparently carrying around a secret soft side. You know those types who are all about spreadsheets, schedules, and “the right way to do things”? Yeah, turns out they’re secretly sensitive. ISTJs won’t exactly shout it from the rooftops, but they show it in little ways, like remembering your coffee order or showing up with soup when you’re sick. They might not wear their hearts on their sleeves, but it’s there, tucked behind that well-organized calendar. I have to admit, seeing ISTJs rank so high made me smile. It matches with what I’ve seen in my own life. Every ISTJ I’ve known has been a closet sentimentalist, observant, caring, and practical, yes, but with a touch of whimsy and gentleness that many fail to recognize.

The Rest of the Myers-Briggs Personality Types

6. ESFP – The Enthusiastic Supporter
Sensitivity Rating: 81.33% Yes

While ESFPs are often the first to jump into fun and adventure, over 81% of them say they’re more sensitive on the inside than they let on. It’s easy to overlook their depth because they bring so much energy to the room, but ESFPs are deeply affected by people and experiences. Yet even so, they do have introverted feeling (Fi) as their auxiliary function. This means they carry a lot more emotional depth on the inside than they show on the outside. They have a caring side that shows up in small acts of kindness, and when they feel, they feel big. You just may not realize it unless you’re very close to them.

7. ISTP – The Sensitive Pragmatist
Sensitivity Rating: 80.56% Yes

Here’s another surprising addition: ISTPs, the cool-headed, hands-on problem solvers, reported a strong sense of hidden sensitivity. This surprised me the most of any of the results, because every ISTP I know has always seemed so cool, calm, collected, and unflappable.

While they’re not exactly known for diving into emotional discussions, don’t let their calm exterior fool you. ISTPs tend to keep their feelings close to the vest, revealing them only in those rare, unguarded moments (usually to a very lucky few). My ISTP brother, for example, once broke down at the end of watching Schindler’s List. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen someone react so strongly to a movie (don’t worry, he’s okay with me sharing this). Sometimes their emotions surprise even them – they try to stay so focused on the present and the facts of real life that they don’t process deeper feelings until they’re erupting from an overflow of pent-up emotion. And usually that’s when they’ll run for the exits, not really wanting the world to see their true feelings.

8. ESTP – The Bold Yet Caring Adventurer
Sensitivity Rating: 80.16% Yes

ESTPs are known for being adventurous, bold, and ready to dive headfirst into new experiences. They’re the type to keep everyone entertained with stories, jokes, and maybe a little harmless trouble-making. But don’t  assume their “live for the moment” vibe is all there is to them. 80% of ESTPs admitted they’re more sensitive than people realize. Beneath their confident exterior, ESTPs actually care a lot about the people in their lives and take things to heart more often than they show. While it’s not talked about much in the typology community, ESTPs are often the first people to show up in an emergency or a crisis, offering hands-on support or troubleshooting. They like to be the good Samaritans and to help out in practical ways when someone actually needs it.

So while they might seem all jokes, toughness, and mental fortitude, ESTPs often have softer hearts than others realize. Just don’t expect them to wax poetic about it around the campfire.

9. ESTJ – The Straightforward Softie
Sensitivity Rating: 75.33% Yes

ESTJs are often seen as the go-getters, the ones who don’t mince words and keep things moving forward. But it turns out, three out of four ESTJs said they’re more sensitive than people realize!

Who knew these organized, no-nonsense types were hiding such soft hearts? They might not show it in obvious ways, but ESTJs often reveal their caring side in their actions—making sure everything’s taken care of, organizing the family get-together, or giving blunt but heartfelt advice (whether we’re ready for it or not).

10. INTP – The Thoughtful Analyst
Sensitivity Rating: 72.58% Yes

INTPs are the logical, contemplative types who love diving into ideas. But more than 72% of them said they feel more sensitive than people realize. It’s not always obvious because INTPs are naturally reserved with their emotions, but they’re surprisingly tuned into the emotional undercurrents around them. They might not cry easily or talk about feelings, but they’re sensitive to criticism and misunderstanding. They feel deeply about their loved ones and their principles, and can get deeply frustrated when people misunderstand them or misconstrue their words. While they may not act like the most emotionally effusive people by a long shot, this doesn’t mean they don’t actually care.

11. ISFJ – The Nurturing Protector
Sensitivity Rating: 71.70% Yes

ISFJs are quietly supportive, often putting others first and doing their best to make life harmonious and calm. Over 70% of them admitted to being more sensitive than people realize, which makes sense based on my own life experiences with ISFJs. Often they try to present a calm, steady demeanor, but they can be deeply moved by things that others brush off as “silly.” For example, I know several ISFJs who cry during life insurance commercials. But it’s not necessarily silly; what they see may spark a memory of someone they loved or an experience they had in the past (you can thank their Introverted Sensing side for that). They might not always hide their emotions, they do like to find friends to share with, but the true depth may be reserved for quiet moments when they’re alone.

12. ENTJ – The Determined Visionary
Sensitivity Rating: 68.42% Yes

ENTJs are known for their strong-willed and determined approach to life, often tackling challenges with confidence. But even the driven ENTJ has a sensitive side, with nearly 70% admitting to being more sensitive than people realize. They may not seem emotional on the outside, but they care deeply about their goals and the people they choose to invest in. They’re the type to feel a sting when they don’t meet their own high standards, even if they’d never let it show. And just because they seem “all about business”, this doesn’t mean they wouldn’t give it all up for the people they love. I know so many ENTJs who would do literally anything for their families, or give an abundance of their resources to help people less fortunate.

13. ENTP – The Curious Challenger
Sensitivity Rating: 67.31% Yes

ENTPs love exploring ideas and debating anything under the sun, so it’s easy to forget they have a soft side too. But with almost 70% saying they’re more sensitive on the inside, it seems like these quick-witted thinkers are carrying around some hidden vulnerability. ENTPs often mask their sensitivity with humor or curiosity—if they’re feeling uneasy, they’re the ones cracking jokes or diving into new ideas to keep the mood light. Beneath the playfulness, though, they’re sensitive to how other people feel and care more than they’d ever let on.

14. ENFP – The Idealistic Encourager
Sensitivity Rating: 65.96% Yes

ENFPs aren’t really the weepy, brooding types, but they still don’t reveal all their inner sensitivities. In fact, nearly 66% of them feel a hidden sensitivity that others don’t see. While they prefer to focus on ideas, possibilities, and adventure, they also have a deeper, more private well of emotion that shows up in their quiet time. They care passionately about people, ideas, and the underdog, and are often drawn to stories that make them feel compassion and conviction to change something. This fondness for personal stories often fuels their ideals, giving them something to work towards and a future to create from the ground up. They’re interested in possibilities for people, and this is likely why you often find them in careers like counseling, art, nonprofit, and communication.

15. ESFJ – The Warm-Hearted Organizer
Sensitivity Rating: 64.29% Yes

Surprisingly, ESFJs were one of the types who felt least likely to be more sensitive on the inside than others realized. I think this has to do with the fact that Extraverted Feeling dominant types (ENFJs and ESFJs) tend to express their emotions, values, and feelings with others rather than keeping them locked inside. They’re not as reserved about what they feel as most types.

But still, this doesn’t mean that all ESFJs feel completely understood. Over 64% of ESFJs feel they’re more sensitive than people give them credit for. They’re the type to tear up at heartfelt moments and take things personally if they think they’ve let someone down. Sure, they may be the first to rally the group for a fun night out, but they’re also often the first to notice if someone is struggling and needs a listening ear or a warm hug.

16. ENFJ – The Outgoing Empath
Sensitivity Rating: 50% Yes

ENFJs are known for their warmth and ability to make people feel seen, so it’s interesting that only half of them said they feel more sensitive than people realize. Maybe it’s because ENFJs are just so good at openly expressing their feelings that they don’t feel like they’re hiding anything! They’re the type who’ll reach out to check on you, inspire you with a vision of your potential, and offer encouragement without hesitation. They’re sensitive on the inside, sure, but they’re also refreshingly open, making them a go-to friend for many.

How Do You Feel?

Are you surprised by these results or unfazed? I’d love to hear what you think in the comments!

For more information on the 16 personality types and how they approach life, check out our eBooks, including Discovering You: Unlocking the Power of Personality Type,  The INFJ – Understanding the Mystic, The INTJ – Understanding the Strategist, and The INFP – Understanding the Dreamer. You can also connect with me via Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter!

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